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Hang in there Friend. Use the PTO they give you. Praying for you.

Can you confide in your boss? They might extend you the grace you need to get through this.

Well all the stress about made me crack i tried to quit my job today. I work construction and run a crew at first I think he thought I was joking. Ended up leaving and they called told me take the day they are paying me and my son has a small surgery Monday so they are giving me pto time. I didn’t even know I got that stuff but I just feel all the stress is getting to me I have to listen to grown men complain and make excuses to do nothing all day and end up doing the work myself then come home to an unapproachable wife I just couldn’t take it

Take your PTO and use as much of it as you can. I like Truman's suggestion to confide in the boss if you have that type of relationship with him. Hopefully you can get a little bit of grace and time to try and work through this. I ran a butcher shop with a large crew for 30 years. I was responsible for a lot, including the damned schedule and a few lazy employees in a unionized shop. I understand that type of stress. It can feel overwhelming and you already have a lot on your plate.

Hang in there man. Keep in touch. Vent away if you need to. We're here for you.

[This message edited by Pogre at 1:11 AM, Friday, January 23rd]

As someone who has been in construction for 29 years I understand. When D-Day happened for me I was neck deep in remodeling projects at Kohl's stores. I remember being on the job site, looking at my tools, and thinking just pick up your tools and walk away. You are under no contract to perform so you can just walk away and I almost did. But then I called a friend of mine who was in the same trade and said I need help and he instantly knew something was wrong

He said what's going on, I told him everything, he said I will be there as soon as I get off my job and he did and then he came back the next day and just took charge and got me through that project

The thought of just abandoning a customer was untenable to me but that's where I was in those early days, willing to walk away and abandon a customer

I suggest talking with your boss and letting him know where you're at because him not knowing he can only assume your just not up for doing the job but if you tell him what's going on he may be sympathetic

Every man has his limits and admitting to someone you need help is not a fault or a negative. What you are dealing with would wreck pretty much every man

So I have talked to my boss he is aware of what’s going on. But he is a lot of my problems there as well constantly micromanaging everyone around so I’m planning stuff people are just gone because he sent them elsewhere saying nothing to me or I mobilize to do something then he changes it we have to go all the way back out plan the next task start over get in to start and he changes back to something else. I just am stressed to the max and at this point feel like I’m just invisible nothing I’m saying is herd at work or home it’s just a lot

WH,

It is very good that you have made your boss aware of the situation at home. I am sorry that your boss's approach to management is another major source of stress for you. Your feelings of not being heard are perfectly understandable, and I think many or all of us would probably feel the same. However, I hope that you feel you are being heard in this forum. I know we are anonymous posters, much as we might wish to be 'there' for you in real life, but people here do care, and are listening to very word you write.

I don't know if you have anyone in real life that you would be comfortable reaching out to, but please consider doing that if there are any likely candidates. It might also be worth considering making an appointment with a counselor, so that you can let your thoughts and stress out with someone who will hopefully have some ideas about how to manage your stress. Stress is awful, and I am sure we have all felt overwhelmed by it at times. The key thing is, you are not alone; we are listening.

Sending strength and empathy to you.

Friend
What you are dealing with isn’t going anywhere... It’s going to be there when you go to sleep, when you wake up, while doing the dishes, taking a shower... this problem will be there.
Even if you had a repentant wife who did everything she could to help... it would take time.
Even if you were determined to divorce...

This is why it’s so important to try to pace yourself. To view your recovery – R or D – like a marathon. You can’t emotionally sprint the whole distance. You need to pace yourself.

When I went through this I managed to view work as "time off". I would sit in my car and focus on storing my thoughts about my relationship in a mental container where they were supposed to stay for the next 8 hours. Then I would focus on work. If I was diverted – I would consciously say to myself "this is not the time nor place for this thought" and press it back into the container. Eventually work became a refuge.

I also think that it won’t serve much good to expect your wife to be willing to answer any question at any time. It’s OK for you both to feel safe during breakfast, when you both know that in 20 minutes you are out the door and wont get any resolve in whatever is put on the marital table. Not suggesting you two don’t talk things out, but rather that you do so in the right time and circumstances. Like... rather than ask her just before you leave, or the minute you come home, then tell her that you want to talk things through, and if she can arrange to be available for an hour at eight this evening.

I really suggest you take the time-out to do self-recovery some of us have suggested.

Finally: Can you make this one change to your daily routine? Immediately when you come home, or very soon after coming home, go take a 30 minute walk. Just alone, no phone, music... just a walk. Something to depressurize after work, and to be on a more level platform when you enter the house.

A customer of mine who is incredibly well off, made every dollar he has through hard work, has a slogan: If nothing changes, nothing can change.

Your relationship with your boss is not working for you so how about sitting down with him and laying things out. Tell him you want to try some changes that in your opinion will increase your efficiency thus helping the company be more productive

Point out how you slot people for work but when he comes in and changes that without even letting you know that has a negative impact on productivity. If he is hell bent on micromanaging everything thus causing you to be inefficient and refuses to listen to you then start making plans for different employment