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Newest Member: findthebeautywithin

Reconciliation :
4 years ago today

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Chicklette (original poster member #70303) posted at 12:46 PM on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2023

4 years ago today my FWH sent our youngest daughter a text meant for his AP. Daughter forwarded it to me, thinking it was a ‘sexy’ message for me, and saying how embarrassing it was. The rest, as they say, is history. I threw him out, but three weeks later we started talking again and decided to try R.

From the day he came home he has been remorseful and willing to do whatever it takes to make me feel secure and happy again. Obviously there were some bumps along the way, and some trickle truth, but it’s mainly been positive. Obviously I was distraught and traumatised. For the first year I was in a state of shock/panic/trauma. But things got easier after the first antiversary.

I have made it clear that I forgave and offered R as a one time offer, but if he strays again that’s it. In my head I know what I will do if that happens, but as the years pass it feels less likely.

What has helped is that FWH continues to work on himself and to be a good, safe husband. He ‘only’ had a sexting ‘relationship’ with the POS AP, and I’m as sure as I can be that there was no PA. He blocked her as soon as we decided to R, and we haven’t heard from her.

So it can be possible for R to work. We continue to be closer than we used to be, and I am grateful for that, if not for what caused it.

Me: BS 59 at DDayWH: 61 at DDayMarried: 27 years at DDay DDay: 22 March 2019 I love him and have forgiven him. He’s very contrite.

posts: 164   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Essex UK
id 8783440
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Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 4:10 PM on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2023

Nice update Chicklette! I hope your healing continues.

Married 36+ years, together 41+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived.
M Restored
"It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it." — Seneca

posts: 4773   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2016   ·   location: Home.
id 8783461
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Ladybugmaam ( member #69881) posted at 7:04 PM on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2023

Happy for you both. I remember your posts and being in a similar place at the same time. Great update!

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 492   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8783489
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 Chicklette (original poster member #70303) posted at 8:54 PM on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2023

Thank you both. Four years ago I couldn’t imagine being where I am today! The pain was so intense. It really is true that time heals.

Me: BS 59 at DDayWH: 61 at DDayMarried: 27 years at DDay DDay: 22 March 2019 I love him and have forgiven him. He’s very contrite.

posts: 164   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Essex UK
id 8783514
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 10:59 AM on Thursday, March 23rd, 2023

Thank you for sharing your story!

Husband had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Married 20 years at that point; two teenaged kids. Reconciling.

posts: 652   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8783579
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 1:51 PM on Thursday, March 23rd, 2023

WONDERFUL post...thanks so much for sharing!!

Four years ago I couldn’t imagine being where I am today! The pain was so intense.

It is hard to believe that we could heal from something as devastating as a betrayal. But here you are...sharing HOPE with all of us today!!

Your story REALLY belongs in the "Positive Reconciliation Stories" thread that is pinned at the Top of this Forum!! THIS thread will be on page 2 before you know it...but THIS post will live on in the PRS thread for a while...giving HOPE to those who are experiencing that intense PAIN that you once felt. All you have to do is copy your post...and then paste it into that thread!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6668   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8783586
Topic is Sleeping.
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