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Newest Member: Shamrock17

Divorce/Separation :
Just a wee bit of karma.

Topic is Sleeping.
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 EllieKMAS (original poster member #68900) posted at 4:04 PM on Tuesday, January 17th, 2023

A few weeks ago I picked up the mail and there was a thing for my xwh in there. Me being me and nosey, I opened it. It was a form letter 'thank you for applying for this credit card, we are reviewing etc'. Well today, I got the follow up rejection letter that 'your credit sucks and you have too many late payments and your score is too low etc'. I read through it and his credit score is 520. Mine as of today is 790.

It's a small thing, but IN. YOUR. FACE. MOTHERFUCKER. My credit score when we divorced was in the low 600's cus of how financially draining it was keeping me and another non-contributing human afloat (though I didn't realize just how draining until we divorced and I got clear of him). I have busted my ass paying things off and getting back on solid financial footing these last three years, and this was just a delicious little validation of how my hard work has rewarded my life.

Is it wrong that I feel gleeful knowing he's suffering some actual consequences for his poor life choices? I promise I am working towards complete indifference, but I am just not there yet.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3919   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8773629
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devotedman ( member #45441) posted at 4:50 PM on Tuesday, January 17th, 2023

It is not wrong. You're feeling some self-validation that your approach to life and finances has let you meet your personal goals and values and his doesn't.

As for indifference, you'll get there

Me: 2xBS b 1962 xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.

posts: 5155   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2014   ·   location: Central USA
id 8773631
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:53 PM on Tuesday, January 17th, 2023

I think BOOYAH! fits in well here, too.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3904   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8773632
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:39 PM on Tuesday, January 17th, 2023

I see it more as proof that he was an anchor or dead weight pulling you down. Gloat a bit :-)

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6215   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8773636
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emergent8 ( Guide #58189) posted at 6:44 PM on Tuesday, January 17th, 2023

I promise I am working towards complete indifference, but I am just not there yet.

I'd say you're doing just fine, Ellie.

There is a reason cream rises and dead-weight just.....sinks, ya know? wink

Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.

posts: 2169   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8773648
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BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 7:42 PM on Tuesday, January 17th, 2023

Is it wrong that I feel gleeful knowing he's suffering some actual consequences for his poor life choices?

Not at all, especially when you consider the fact that the consequences he's currently suffering are because he no longer has you to carry water for him and clean up his messes.

Congratulations for all your hard work!

[This message edited by BluerThanBlue at 7:43 PM, Tuesday, January 17th]

BW, 40s

Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried

I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.

posts: 2115   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2020
id 8773656
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ZenMumWalking ( Guide #25341) posted at 5:53 PM on Wednesday, January 18th, 2023

Actions, meet consequences!! laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8773785
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 6:39 PM on Wednesday, January 18th, 2023

Bazingah! laugh

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21576   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 8773793
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 EllieKMAS (original poster member #68900) posted at 7:05 PM on Wednesday, January 18th, 2023

FaithFool LMAO

Also......... So he owned a house before we got together right? Well when he moved out to be with me, he just... left it. It went into foreclosure and he didn't make the mortgage payments on it for 8+ years and he had a court judgement against him about it and everything.

That feckin idiot applied for this credit card FROM THE SAME BANK THAT SUED HIM OVER HIS FORECLOSED HOUSE. Seriously? I mean putting aside the fact that he finds women to con all the time (yes lookin right at me - dafuq was I thinking??), that shit don't work on the bank mah dude.

But yes please, tell me all about how smart you are and how high your IQ is again and how your life 'will be so much better not being married' laugh

I just love little nuggets of karmic deliciousness! *chef's kiss

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3919   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8773798
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 4:26 AM on Thursday, January 19th, 2023

Just reminds us that the remorseless cheaters who do nothing to change or improve, will just continue their broken, self destructive ways into the future long after you leave. It is who they choose to be.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3945   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8773850
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 5:09 AM on Thursday, January 19th, 2023

Bazingah sequence is some of the funniest video ever. I wish they had a blooper reel. Apparently the crew was dying. laugh

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21576   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 8773853
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Kb82 ( member #70826) posted at 4:48 AM on Friday, January 20th, 2023

Ellie, there is nothing wrong at all with feeling a little gleeful at karma playing out to someone that hurt you. Especially if bc of his affair you were also suffering financially,and now have risen above the drain he was pulling you down. The saying "the best revenge is living well" started somewhere. Not to say you were out to get "revenge", per say, but just getting yourself into a healthier place mentally and financially has served many purposes, some unintentionally. You are I a much better place in many ways from what it sounds like than you were with him and that is awesome. Congrats on working on yourself! And there's no harm in watching karma you didn't cause unfold.

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8773966
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 2:51 PM on Friday, January 20th, 2023

Ellie, this post pleases me. It pleases me a lot. Feel free to internally gloat. I'm gloating with you 😁.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4524   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8774034
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kiwilee ( member #10426) posted at 1:58 AM on Saturday, January 21st, 2023

A little bit of jubilation when due karma is served sounds quite alright to me!!

I hope he never qualifies for a mortgage loan ever again!

posts: 663   ·   registered: Apr. 17th, 2006
id 8774166
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Hippo16 ( member #52440) posted at 1:11 PM on Saturday, January 21st, 2023

Good for you Ellie!

Some folks are short a few slices out of their loaf and make/do stupid things financially thereby trashing their credit score.

Others just do the right thing 'cause of their upbringing.

And there are those who muffed up and go find out what the rules are and then follow the rules. So their score improves.


I have yet to figure out how people expect good things to happen to them when they don't pay bills on time.

Maybe I have a slice missing? grin

There's no troubled marriage that can't be made worse with adultery."For a person with integrity, there is no possibility of being unhappy enough in your marriage to have an affair, but not unhappy enough to ask for divorce."

posts: 951   ·   registered: Mar. 26th, 2016   ·   location: OBX
id 8774191
Topic is Sleeping.
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