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I got a text message from my wife's AP's wife. She confirms that they are in an open marriage and that she knew her husband and my wife were chatting online and that she has no problem with it. That's why I'm not calling her OBS. She sent me an email as well just wanting answers to some questions. She wanted to know why I was only writing to her and not also to the other husbands my wife was in contact with. She wanted to know if I was chatting with women online (nope). She also wanted to know exactly what my wife told me. Honestly, she sounded more like someone wanting to cover tracks than someone wanting to help.

The "other husbands"?

She was essentially telling me that her husband isn't the only man my wife was with. I assumed as much, especially since she is trickle-truthing.

I was hoping it was a typing error.

Sorry this seems to be getting worse for you.

Are you sure you’re not texting with the OM and not his wife? The response sounded like it came from the OM who is fishing for information about how much you know and get your scent off his trail by mentioning the other men. Your wife also may have lied to him about you chatting with other women.

Even if you are confident you were texting with OM’s wife, based on the hostile tone of her response, I wouldn’t tell her anything except maybe "If you have an open relationship, you don’t need any information from me. I’m sure he tells you everything, right?"

[This message edited by BluerThanBlue at 11:36 PM, Tuesday, April 15th]

Ohhhh I think bluerthanblue is right. It was probably him. Did your wife know you had been trying to contact his wife? Perhaps she tipped him off and he texted you.

I agree if I was in an open marriage I would not be asking these questions. Especially the one where they asked you about whether you had been texting women online. This would be something he would want to know to see if he was mislead by the picture she painted for him.

And "why aren’t you texting the other wives thing" as an effort he may want to put out there for his own behalf so maybe you would be less focused on him. And it may not even be true.

I did a reverse phone lookup and verified that it is his wife's phone the texts came from and she gave me her email address through that phone number. I know his work schedule, because it exactly matches my wife's. He is her direct supervisor and she is on his sales team.

The number is linked to her name and home address. All of our communication happened while he was working. It's unlikely that he has his wife's phone with him at his job.

Left

Can you call her to hear if it's a female voice

If she knew and approved them OMW knows she is accountable to face consequences.

Polygraph Your WW.

I agree with the other people who think it was the AP. I would think if they had an open marriage and she responded she would just confirm it with you, not ask questions.

Why would she care if you were talking to other women online. Has nothing to do with her.

The most telling question was the one wanting to know what your wife had told you. This sounds like an affair partner wanting to know if your wife is lying to him about what she tells you.

Have you responded? If not, I would just say I’d be happy to tell you everything, just not over text. Can we talk on the phone briefly? Nothing about the text seems legit to me.

Honestly, she sounded more like someone wanting to cover tracks than someone wanting to help.

Who would need to cover their tracks? Not the OBS, only the AP