SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

He’s bullying you with his comments to get you to stay and not make demands like financially or otherwise on him.

Remember — he’s looking out for HIS best interest. And staying with you is easy for him. He can say and do whatever he wants and he expects you won’t say "no!" Or "Hell no!" To him.

Mismee, I hope you're doing okay. I hope you haven't just abandoned this thread and you're taking these replies to heart.

I have a suggestion for you. Go to your profile, click "recent threads," take a little time, go back through the threads you have authored, and read through them. You keep posting new threads with more examples of your husband's absurd behavior and you've been consistently given pretty much the same advice over and over.

As gently as I can, you need to start doing something different or nothing is going to change. There's a pattern developing across your threads and you can see it if you go back through them.

I would love nothing more than to open these forums one day and see a new thread authored by you announcing that you've gotten yourself out of this situation.

Thank you for replying. I have took on all your advice and sat and thought about it all. I know I need to leave the relationship and can see more now that actually I wasn’t the problem. When I say it out loud or think of different things that have happened over the year it makes me feel physically sick.

So this weekend it is as though a switch has been flicked. Normal conversation on Saturday, that was on the front door doorbell, that showed how easy he will manipulate me. I told him I can’t continue like this I’m unhappy etc…

He agreed to leave but told me. That I shouldn’t have asked him back when he lived with AP. That’s it’s unfair I get the house. He still will have to pay my bills- when talking about child support which I reminded him the monies to raise his children. That my life doesn’t really change because I still have everything.

This morning he asked if I really want him to leave I said yes he’s packed a bag and asked why I’m not asking him to stay. Accused me of seeing someone else. Told me it’s okay for me because I will get a partner who will contribute financially and he will always have to contribute here whilst also contribute to who ever he ends up.

So to sum it all up, I’m guessing when he was in affair fantasy he hadn’t considered none of that at all and that was the real reason he came back, which I think a few of you suggested.

When I look at him, well when I can bear to look at him I don’t see the person I loved at all. I don’t think I feel anything apart from disappointment from him.

Oh no, that poor little muffin! He has to contribute money to raise his kids?? Oh gosh, what is this world coming to?

He is just a big man baby that doesn't understand responsibility or adulthood at all!

You haven't done anything wrong here, Mismee. This is all on him. It's entirely fair if you get to keep the house. He's the one who wrecked everything. He's just trying to manipulate and pull on your heart strings on his way out the door. Good for you not falling for it!

He's likely not done yet either, so keep your guard up against anymore guilt tripping or manipulations. You're doing what's best for you and your children right now.

This isn't the new thread I was hoping to see, but I'll take it! Stay strong, Mismee! Keep posting and let us know how you're doing or if you need anyone to talk to.