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You should tell the kids the truth. I’m assuming they are not young given she did this after 40 years. Do not protect a cheater and she doesn’t love you, she’s saying that to try to minimize what she doing. I still love you but I’m leaving you for another man? See how ridiculous that sounds. She isn’t even trying to save the marriage, you confronted her and she immediately plans to leave to be with him. She is a stranger now, she’s not the woman you married. Treat her like a stranger, don’t talk to her, don’t respond if she messages you. She is going to try to pretend she cares to try to improve her image as a cheater, don’t give that to her, cut her off and go no contact other than necessary contact for the divorce. You can not trust her, do not provide any support, she needs to get that from her boyfriend now not you and definitely tell the children. They deserve to know the truth!

[This message edited by Rfv3311 at 10:40 PM, Wednesday, December 24th]

So sorry you are left to face the kids by yourself at this holiday weekend right after a major medical procedure. Tell kids the truth. Tell them that your wife has decided to leave to start her new life, just like you told us. You didn’t force her to leave, even though you have every right to do so. And leaving you vulnerable during critical rehab phase doesn’t sound like love to me. If the kids are adults they may still love her but they deserve to know the truth. Unfortunately I have read messages my WS communicated with his family members, and it’s all about how excited he is about his new life and how amazing his new girlfriend is. And how this outcome was all my fault after putting up with me for a long time. When they choose to leave, they don’t get all the say about the situation and you deserve to have the emotional support you need, if not from her then from your kids.