whatbecomes (original poster new member #85703) posted at 2:33 AM on Monday, October 13th, 2025
This is a strange one for me. My WW and I are about 9 months out from Dday. Circumstances were pretty messy at the time. We have worked toward reconciliation and have made pretty good progress so far.
Most of our reconciliation has featured a lot of hysterical bonding. Sex has been pretty frequent. But over the last week or so, shockingly I have lost all interest. She hasn’t asked for it (rarely does), but it’s very odd for me. I’ve always had a high sex drive so this is way out of character.
I don’t watch porn so it’s not like I’m focusing elsewhere. The last few weeks have been very stressful with work and our three small kids. But I don’t get why I don’t care at all about it.
A lot of stuff happened about a year ago. Some of my thoughts have been pretty negative recently. Maybe it’s due to the antiversary of things?
Has anyone else experienced this?
Vikrant1993 ( new member #86553) posted at 2:55 AM on Monday, October 13th, 2025
I would say, at least for me that's how things started. In the beginning there was a little more sex than usual. And I think it's more so, an ego thing. Trying to prove you're better than the other person. And then there's the wanting to be close to each other and wanting to move past everything. But eventually with time, I think our mind and heart finally catches up to each other. That the problem isn't physical alone or maybe not at all. There is the emotional side that needs repaired, alone with trust.
At least for me, the sex declined compared to 5 months after to now, at 15 months. Mainly because, I think there's more to focus on. Or at least, more has been discussed that you need to address. And some of it takes a mental and emotional toll that won't exactly put anyone in the mood.
I would say having negative feelings about the incident doesn't make things better. It is entirely normal to feel those feelings. But it's something you have to work on together and even at times alone. Otherwise, you'll be so focused on the past, that you're not focusing on the progress you have made so far and continue to do so. I wont lie, I still struggle with this. And it isn't a easy thing to overcome. But when you do, it does feel good.
