For as long as I can remember, I've always had a morbid fascination with infidelity, particularly when it's done by a woman. Over the years I've read countless stories and recounts of cheating girlfriends and wives, watched movies and read novels that deal with the subject. When AIDungeon became a thing I used it to play out my own scenarios where women would cheat on their partners, having an absolute blast with it. And yet, just like the heroines in these stories, among the thrill and exhilaration there's always an undercurrent of disgust and regret I feel when I indulge this dirty little kink. As in, some deep seated part of my mind understands how immoral the act is and how devastating it is for a spouse to find out they've been betrayed by someone they love. It also completely skewed my perception of women, making me unable to experience any kind of romantic or affectionate feelings towards them(I've never been in any kind of relationship for a number of reasons, this one being one of them) because I see them all as potential cheats. Yes, ironically I myself would hate to be cheated on when it comes down to it.
I've no idea what made this fetish surface in the first place. As far as I know my mother didn't cheat(in fact it's the opposite, from what I gather she's always been frigid and it's my father who had some side action at some point as a result) and none of the female family members I know of either.
So anyway, I understand how damaging this fetish for my psyche and what little chance I might have at finding a partner. Is there any way to get rid of it, or at least stop seeing women through its prism?
[This message edited by Fleetfoot at 8:42 PM, Thursday, April 17th]
