It’s 2025. I joined SI in 2009. Since then, I gave birth two my younger two of 4 kids, moved into and out of six homes and two states, changed jobs, facilitated car pools, so many sports and dance teams, successfully moved back into school leadership, attempted to mend my broken heart, held my sister as she passed away and worked to raise some fine young people in our very broken home.
And he leaves and he comes back and he leaves again over and over.
He just left for work with a suitcase. Apparently he is going away for the weekend with friends I don’t know.
I expect something to change but I don’t change anything. Our poor kids!
Our oldest will graduate high school in June. He will play baseball in college. I’m incredibly proud of his hard work and achievements. And he’s all grown up and leaving.
His sister will do the same next year (minus the baseball scholarship).
Then I’ll have one in high school and one in middle school. My original plan was to stick it out until our youngest is 18, which is 8 more years but it is incredibly challenging.
He just leaves. When he is here he is affectionate and when he’s gone he is unreachable.
And it just keeps happening because I don’t do anything to change it.
I think I just needed to type this out here.
I know I am grateful for being here with our kids. Two baseball games, a birthday party and a dance competition this evening after work. If I wasn’t here, who would cheer them on?
Why would anyone want to miss out on their kids growing up?
