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On Monday it will be the first anniversary of my brothers passing.

How has it been a year already?

Why does it feel like it just happened yesterday?

I know I havent allowed the full grieving to happen. I really don't know how. It still feels like a practical joke. Something my brother was well known for doing.

One of his friends reached out to me asking if we could all get together and of course I said yes. We've arranged a memorial/birthday party (since he passed a week before his birthday).

The kids are on March break so it makes that easier to do.

The "firsts" after a death are so damn hard. A few months from now it will be my dad's anniversary.

Last year just sucked. One of our family friends attended 13 funerals including my brother and dad. 13!!!

How do you manage the firsts? I've been so busy with things that it's been easier to put that stuff to the back of my mind.

{{Hugs}}

You get through it as best you can. Give yourself grace and acknowledge that the firsts (and seconds and thirds) are tough. Spend time remembering them or stay so busy you don't have time to think. It's ok to be sad and cry, or to be happy and laugh.

It’s so odd, grief. But it is beautiful in its own way too. So accept the full spectrum of joy, sadness, loss, laughter and everything else that comes along. Because your brother possessed all those feelings, too. We had a memorial for my mom at the one year mark, and it was really cathartic. Right after she died we were in shock. Now we could fully embrace our memories and love for her without being overwrought or unable to appreciate all the love in the room.

This is when you can truly make it a celebration of life. Embrace that.

And yes, the sharpness of the feelings dim over time, and the memories of sadness recede toward the back and the feelings of love and gratefulness move to the forefront. Still sad, but that stops overpowering all the wonderful feelings toward your loved one.

I’m glad you will all be getting together for this. Your brother must have been one heck of a great guy.

Thank you both.

My brother was the life of the party, a joker and always there if you needed help.

His passing hurt so many people.

I imagine it will be a long time before things don't feel so empty.

My heart goes out to you and your family suffering two big losses in such a short period of time. I love the idea of a celebration/remembrance at the one year anniversary.

Hugs to all going through the grieving process.

I’m sorry for your loss of your brother.

Please try to honor the day with some humor or joy in memory of your brother.

First thing I see this morning on Facebook is a tribute to K who died by M our other brother. Instant tears! Then the next post is from K's best friend. So many people responded to bith posts. K really did impact so many people.

Is it bad that I don't want to post something? I probably will at some point today but it feels weirdly shallow for some reason. At least for me to do it.

It's been a hard few days leading up to today and now that it's here I want to bury myself in something to just make it through the day.

You don't have to post anything if you don't want to. You don't have to prove that you love / miss your brother to anyone! This is what I hate about social media. That anyone would even feel it's wrong to not post something if they're not feeling up to it.

You do t have share anything. You do you. Hard stop.

Thank you for validating that for me. I did post a photo of my brother with dd when she was little. I have few photos of him with the kids. It's sad.

The kids and I got busy cleaning up things and just when we were on a roll DS had a losing battle with icy stairs. The screams he let out were chilling but he insisted he was fine. I knew he wasn't.

9 hours at the hospital and one x ray later, he's got a wrist brace and will be seeing the orthopedic surgeon at the fracture clinic... of course its his dominant hand

Poor kid!

They gave him overlapping Tylenol and advil so he's at least covered for pain for now.

Almost 4am, he's now in bed. I'm heading there too. Sleeping in for sure lol

Never a dull moment