SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I know nothing about base operations so this suggestion might be spitting into the wind. Can you get somewhere on base that is off limits to her? Can you get permission to shut your phone off? Let her get all the histrionics out before heading home. Once you need to leave the base find a buddy to have dinner with. Put off going home until bedtime. After she is served you should ask if having to share base quarters can legally still be a separation. I love this saying…begin as you mean to go on. Do the gray rock method. She gets nothing from you but YESes and NOs. I do suggest you not try to give reasons about your decision. She is going to push are at your boundaries. Stay strong.

I’m hoping against hope that she is civil because she needs a place to stay and I need someone to watch our dog while I’m gone at the beginning of the year for a military school on the other coast. So if she can be civil she can stay in the house while we divorce for free once served as long as she takes care of our dog. And then when I get back we can move out and I can take the dog. But we shall see, I’m looking for an apartment and a dog foster just in case.

But yes the gaslighting and manipulation and all of that if it starts hard or I feel unsafe with her trying to trap me once I serve her I’ll force the move out with the notice of divorce and figure it out. Just a bad situation all around.

Agree that a dog foster is a better idea. I’m a military brat and we always found families on base willing to watch our dog when we were between housing before/after a move. The military community is great that way. If you think she is unstable, that is not going to get better. Cut the ties.

Also, I agree with the VAR suggestion. That last thing you need is her claiming domestic violence or something. PROTECT YOURSELF. We’ve seen where the WS claims false abuse and really screws up the BS’s life. Don’t let her do that.

I'd be concerned about how well your STBXW would take care of your dog or your possessions if you initiate D. She can do a lot of damage to you if she lives in your place without your supervision.