AdLarue17 (original poster new member #84917) posted at 2:24 PM on Thursday, November 14th, 2024
Today I am riding the struggle bus. It’s not just the A but work is in a stressful place, my kids are stressing me, my mom is stressing me, I just have way too much going on. Woke up to a full blown panic attack. My husband assumed it was just about the A… because well, that does happen. But I just feel overwhelmed by my whole damn life. Wish I could just go to sleep and wake up and it be over. Please if anyone has any words of encouragement, I could use them.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:51 PM on Thursday, November 14th, 2024
Selenium? I see a shrink for ADD. At one point I mentioned anxiety, and he suggested selenium. I get a small dose from 3-4 Brazil nuts. Now, if I have trouble sleeping, I generally find I forgot to eat the nuts that day.
Some of the self-talk that helps me from time to time:
You have your feelings; they don't have you.
You can't solve this here and now.
What do you feel - angry, sad, sacred, ashamed? (and then let myself feel and otherwise deal with whatever feeling is there.
Nothing works every time. Sometimes I just have to live with whatever feelings are active.
Sorry you have to deal with this. Let us know how your day goes.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
AdLarue17 (original poster new member #84917) posted at 10:57 PM on Thursday, November 14th, 2024
Thanks for the tips. I made it though the day by leaning on my assistant who has also become a good friend and sneaking in a therapy appointment over zoom. Fingers crossed tomorrow is easier or better!
Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 12:32 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2024
I'm sorry you are struggling with everything right now. I totally get it, it seems like everyone is struggling right now. So much drama and crap happening outside our 4 walls, I have had to tell my W to draw boundaries and worry about us first, we can't fix everything.
Leave the phone behind, stop at a park and take a walk, stop and take in the beauty of nature, enjoy the sounds. This really helps me reset.
Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:13 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2024
Sneaking in a therapy appt? At work? No. Just plain: no.
Have you talked with your boss about what you're going through? I always appreciated knowing that one of my staff was going through a personal crisis. That allowed me to do what I could to support the staff member and get the work done.
Knowing also set me up to allow that a foul-up might be due to the excess stress, not carelessness or incompetence.
I strongly recommend letting your boss know you're in this struggle.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
AdLarue17 (original poster new member #84917) posted at 5:29 PM on Saturday, November 16th, 2024
What I do on my lunch hour is my own business. So yes, yes I did.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:53 PM on Saturday, November 16th, 2024
Re: Sneaking in therapy.
This is a very personal one. I trusted my manager - told him I was going through some personal stuff. Within a couple of months I was fired even though up until then I was the top of my team. This made things so much worse financially, emotionally, and practically.
HIPAA is there for a reason. Trust your instincts - not all bosses are created equal.
At my current job, I did set the expectation when I started that I will take time periodically for therapy and my boss was 100% cool with it. But it backfired on me before.
And I have found that I no longer handle stressors as well as I did pre-A. I use apps like Calm and exercise to help me when life starts getting crazier than normal. A quick meditation through ear buds in a conference room would help calm me down a bit, or a walk around the building. Some people find EFT tapping to be helpful. It also helps to remind myself that the crazy isn’t forever - it will pass.
Hope you feel better soon.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
AdLarue17 (original poster new member #84917) posted at 5:57 PM on Saturday, November 16th, 2024
My boss is actually really great and would not care if I did therapy in the middle of my day because I’m amazing at my job and she’s a good person who cares that we are taking care of ourselves. That said, she also doesn’t want the details.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:55 PM on Sunday, November 17th, 2024
What I do on my lunch hour is my own business.
Agreed. I misinterpreted what you meant by 'sneaking'.
[This message edited by SI Staff at 3:55 PM, Sunday, November 17th]
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.