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Newest Member: findthebeautywithin

New Beginnings :
Update!

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 EllieKMAS (original poster member #68900) posted at 11:30 PM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2024

I realized today that I have been away for a LONG time. LONG. And I miss SI so decided to come back.

I bought a house last November. Well more accurately, I bought an acre of land with a trailer and a 40x50 metal auto shop on it. And a huge pond - not to brag but my pond is so big it has an island in it. The original plan was for me to refurb the shop into my house and then my momma was going to build a little granny cottage on the the other half of the property. What's that they say about the best laid plans? Yeah, so my shop house (that has been being worked on since farking JANUARY) will FINALLY be done this week. It's amazing, but has cost me every cent I have, most of my mental bandwidth and nearly all of my sanity. I have been real-life living the movie 'The Money Pit' and I am so so ready for this part to be done. The last week or so has been great though - I have been able to hang up my artwork and will shortly have a second functioning bathroom and it is finally starting to feel like home now. I realized the other day that between my infidelity circus, divorce, my planning and prepping to move states, renting a house for a year, and now moving into a construction zone that I've been living in since July, I have not truly been 'settled' since 2018. I'm ready to be settled again!

I have enjoyed getting to spray paint things hot pink and decorate with sparkles and flowers and butterflies and not give a shite what anyone thinks of my decorative choices (and believe me I have gotten a lot of weird looks), but my first two contractors were... let's say 'difficult'. I have had to manage every trigger I have all year with their BS and shenanigans. Was good though, I think I have grown a lot and healed a lot this year so I'll take that.

Aside from that, just been hanging and going slowly mad laugh Hope all my old timers are still around and doing good!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3919   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8849986
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 1:32 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2024

Good to hear your update. It sounds like construction was exasperating but the end result sounds great. I was thinking of you the other day. I have missed reading your posts and advice.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3904   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8849994
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:05 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2024

Nice to see your name pop back up- and even better with such a great update. You are brave and tough to tackle such a project- but we knew that already, right? What a hard earned home sweet home!


Glad you came by. I’m sure some folks here could use your wisdom if you have time.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6213   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8849995
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Anna123 ( member #70908) posted at 2:53 PM on Saturday, October 5th, 2024

Hello! I am happy to hear you are finally going to be able to settle in your AWESOME sounding new home and property. You own an Island on top of it, so cool:-) I love little pond islands, I can imagine little gnomes living out there. The sparkles sound pretty by the way. There is a part of me that dreams about moving from the city and doing what you did but I'm just a bit too old and comfortable now.

Take care and enjoy!

posts: 690   ·   registered: Jul. 1st, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8850299
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:15 PM on Saturday, October 5th, 2024

Congrats!!! Sounds like life is good.
Enjoy your new abode.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20298   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8850305
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 7:57 PM on Saturday, October 5th, 2024

"I realized the other day that between my infidelity circus, divorce, my planning and prepping to move states, renting a house for a year, and now moving into a construction zone that I've been living in since July, I have not truly been 'settled' since 2018. I'm ready to be settled again!"

I hope you settle right in to peace and happiness in your Barbie glitter pink paradise!

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1793   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8850318
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Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 11:37 PM on Saturday, October 5th, 2024

Great update! Congrats on having your own space. Is the pond stocked?

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1865   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8850327
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DroppedShoe ( member #80500) posted at 2:44 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2024

You must love the pond! Do you have a boat? A lot of waterfowl? Congrats to you, sounds peaceful and like a true new beginning!

Let this be the lose weight kind of stress not the gain weight kind.

posts: 64   ·   registered: Aug. 9th, 2022   ·   location: Los Angeles
id 8850813
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 7:47 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2024

Hey Ellie!! This is a fantastic update! So glad things are finally settling with your living quarters. And that pond sounds absolutely dreamy. You realize your little island needs a playhouse, right? With a bookshelf and a cushy chair and blanket. Maybe a hammock attached outside…?

And I love the granny cottage idea. I told my oldest daughter she needs to buy acreage so I can build a tiny home in the corner of it, haha.

Enjoy this wonderful new chapter, Ellie!

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4524   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8850932
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 EllieKMAS (original poster member #68900) posted at 3:46 AM on Sunday, October 13th, 2024

My pond situation is currently more of a swamp, so that's on the list to deal with in the future. I did see some egrets and wood ducks out there and a bunch of turtles, so I'm looking forward to getting it cleaned up enough to enjoy it. During all the construction the whole property got very badly overgrown, so I am saving up enough to get someone out to wrangle my jungle of weeds so I can actually SEE the pond laugh I have big plans for this place, now it's just a matter of time and money.

My house is very cool tho. I drew the floorplan for it and picked out every visible thing in it and it was so cool seeing it go from my head to paper to three dimensional reality. I've never built a home before so this process was just amazing!

Can't tell you how many times I was so grateful that I was doing this by myself and could do whatever off the wall stuff came to my mind. My faves are:
1) my free chandelier in my foyer that I spray painted screaming neon pink and finished off with hot pink feather trimmed shades and almost 100 ab crystals. It's obnoxious and sparkly and cartoon whore-housey and fucking fabulous and makes me smile every time I look at it!
2) My salvaged built in bookshelf that I painted a beautiful plummy purple called 'magicians cloak'. Still going to add this awesome wallpaper with mushrooms and leaves to it, but it looks so cool.
3) my fridge that I vinyl wrapped in chameleon chrome wrap because I hate stainless steel but it was all I could afford so I made it work and it came out SO cool!
4) All of the beautiful iridescent tile I picked out.

This place is so ME. It's joyful and cozy and colorful and weird and now that it's finally done and I can get my art up it's just feeling better and better!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3919   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8851021
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InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 4:40 PM on Sunday, October 13th, 2024

Fantastic update and I’m personally glad to see you back slummin’ around this gin joint. smile

People are more important than the relationships they are in.

posts: 2432   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2022
id 8851049
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 6:44 AM on Monday, October 14th, 2024

And nobody says douchecanoe like you do. I'm really glad you're back.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3904   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8851095
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:28 AM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2024

Glad things are going well.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14221   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8851134
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 4:17 AM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2024

"It's obnoxious and sparkly and cartoon whore-housey"

I am liking the decor in my mind already!!
Enjoy

Don’t forget to theme the garden haha
Iris are considered messengers of hope and there is one called unicorn :)
And lots to do with happiness :)

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1793   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8851226
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Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 5:14 AM on Friday, October 18th, 2024

Are you planning a housewarming party, Ellie? 😀 Hope the last details have come together for your new digs!

posts: 2202   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8851376
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 7:19 PM on Saturday, October 26th, 2024

Great update!!! Thanks for coming back and sharing it with us. Pics?? smile

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5633   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 8852272
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:30 PM on Monday, October 28th, 2024

Thanks for sharing. I'm glad you're settling into your new living arrangement but not settling for something you don't really want.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30462   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8852371
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