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Divorce/Separation :
When are you considered divorced?

Topic is Sleeping.
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 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 6:31 PM on Friday, August 30th, 2024

The judge finally signed off on our papers. Does this mean I am divorced? I have read it takes 6 months from signing for it to be official. I haven't received the decree yet. What a long process D is sheesh. I can hardly wait to update my tagline laugh

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8910   路   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   路   location: California
id 8847208
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BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 6:47 PM on Friday, August 30th, 2024

For me, I considered myself "official" when I received my decree but there was about 2 months between the settlement and getting that. I felt happy when the decree came through but I was ecstatic when the settlement happened. My ex said he took himself off for a cry after the settlement. Whatever 馃檮

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3426   路   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 8847214
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Bigger ( Attach茅 #8354) posted at 2:34 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2024

Divorce is IMHO a two-sided project, and IMHO you are divorced when you complete both parts:
The emotional detachment. Where you reach a stage where the formers actions really don鈥檛 impact you.
The legal and financial detachment. When you reach the stage where your ex spouses late payment or insistence on buying a gold-pated Mustang no longer impact you.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 12691   路   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8847364
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 10:06 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2024

Where I'm at, the D is final when the judge signs the D papers. When the court clerk called that the judge signed, she said that the D was final at that time. I don't have a copy of the decree because you have to pay for it. Got to the emotional detachment part about 6 months later.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3904   路   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   路   location: Washington State
id 8847394
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 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 3:33 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2024

Both parts of that project completed Bigger smile

Just looked it up and it鈥檚 complete, divorced on August 8th. It鈥檚 finally over!

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8910   路   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   路   location: California
id 8847402
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:03 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2024

馃帀馃帀 congrats!!馃帀馃帀

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6215   路   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   路   location: Northern CA
id 8847432
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 7:09 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2024

Woo hooooooo!!! I鈥檓 so happy for you!

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4524   路   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   路   location: USA
id 8847442
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Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 7:27 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2024

Wooooo, WHAT a journey!! I'm so relieved for you!! It has been a long and difficult ride. What will you do next?? 馃檪

posts: 2202   路   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   路   location: Washington D C area
id 8847443
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 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 7:47 PM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2024

Thank you it is such a relief. I feel like celebrating to be honest laugh no sadness about it or anything! I plan on enjoying the rest of my life free from infidelity, abuse, STDs (hopefully lol), and am going to enjoy the love of my life!

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 7:47 PM, Tuesday, September 3rd]

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8910   路   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   路   location: California
id 8847448
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 2:58 AM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2024

Congratulations!

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3904   路   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   路   location: Washington State
id 8847471
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:28 PM on Wednesday, September 4th, 2024

What long long long crazy journey it has been for you.
Congratulations CBS. So happy for you.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20298   路   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   路   location: St. Louis
id 8847486
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InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 1:03 AM on Thursday, September 5th, 2024

Congrats, hope to be joining you soon smile

People are more important than the relationships they are in.

posts: 2432   路   registered: Jun. 28th, 2022
id 8847516
Topic is Sleeping.
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