Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 11:58 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2024
Don‘t think you are being unreasonable.
However… It does sound like your husband isn’t pulling his weight regarding the kids. Maybe it could be to YOUR advantage to have some agreement or schedule with your soon-to-be ex MIL.
You mention the hectic schedule and that over the last months your STB EX H has only occasionally had the kids.
Would there be any help if their grandma took the youngest to violin-class and then picked up the other two from sports to give them a home-cooked dinner every Thursday, enabling you to catch up with some work?
I think the real issue might be to create a schedule, to prevent her from dropping in unannounced and/or meddling with a schedule that is already taxing. You state you want them to have a relationship with their grandma, and it does sound like her son isn’t manning up. Maybe this could be a suggestion that helps you, her and the kids.
"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus
HopeToHealSoon (original poster new member #84876) posted at 11:35 PM on Thursday, September 5th, 2024
Yes, now that things are settling a little, I may try to bring this up. Unfortunately, the communication is now virtually non-existent with the MIL and my STBEXH. The good news is that we have a mediation date scheduled for September 24. My hope is that this will being an agreement on schedules, so we can get some predictability in place. Of course, I am anxious leading up to this and certain it's going to be a battle over splitting assets, deciding on custody, but I am glad we have something on the calendar and hopefully will get this resolved so we can both move forward.
BW, 49 (kids 10, 13, 14) D-Day: April 10, 2024Separated: April 12, 2024Divorce Filed: July 11, 2024 (after STBXH couldn't do NC and continued to lie about A)
"I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become." — Carl Jung
nomudnolotus ( member #59431) posted at 7:27 AM on Saturday, September 7th, 2024
Good to hear from you HTHS, I hope everything goes as good as it possibly can for you at the mediation!
GratitudeSteve ( new member #85203) posted at 6:13 PM on Sunday, September 8th, 2024
Sounds awful similar to my current situation. I’m sorry for your pain and frustration. Stonewalling the divorce is a pretty crummy tactic and it sounds like he’s really gonna get burned. And for us fixers, sometimes we can take too much thinking we can fix things when we need to be more firm with boundaries. Sometimes the damage is done and can’t be fixed.
