It's hard not to say I love you when we talk on the phone.
It's hard not to kiss you when I leave.
It's hard not to yell at you for the pain you put me through once again.
It's hard not to try and beat AP's ass.
It's hard not knowing where you're at.
It's hard to sleep with these thoughts running through my brain.
I thought we were married.
I thought you valued our vows.
I quit watching, or I would have caught it earlier.
It's just so tiring to watch.
I believe the first time was in March.
Right before our trip to Tennessee.
I think I saw the signs but dismissed them as depression.
I know the pill problem never stopped either.
Most of the help you did for your niece and the girls was paid for with pain pills.
Do you know how tiring it is to have to worry that your wife is going to steal money to buy pills.
The lies are what hurt.
The gas lighting with you never stopped.
Then you wondered why I had troubles in the bedroom.
It's because I knew the sky was blue even though you told me it was yellow.
It's hard to make love under a yellow sky.
[This message edited by cannibal at 9:54 AM, Wednesday, February 7th]