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My son was arrested last night. The charge was/is failure to appear. So they have explained to him that he cannot post bail. He is telling me that he went to court in November and they rescheduled till December, and he went to court in December and they rescheduled to January.

I called the lawyer in town who represented my younger son recently. Someone on his staff told me that she looked up his name and it showed that he was represented by a public defender, and so they could not help him because he already had a lawyer.

I called the public defenders office and an office personnel told me that a public defender had – past tense – represented my son, but he did not show up in court in December. And that now he will have to wait for another court date in order to be appointed a public defender again. That the appointment does not carry over from case to case.

Does this mean that in reality, he does not have a lawyer at this time from the public defenders office, and therefore a private lawyer could help him?

So he cannot get another Public Defender until he goes back to court, is that correct?

If I were to obtain the services of a private lawyer, would he be able to get anything done before a court date can be set? If not, it doesn’t make sense to me to waste the money.

Of course, my son could always be misrepresenting his situation to me. But he has been in and out of misdemeanor type trouble for many years, and I have never known him to miss a court date.

I guess I am trying to find a way to get him some help about not being credited for going to court in December. So, if he can’t get a public defender until he goes to court, is there no recourse to check records or somehow find out why he wasn’t accounted for in court in December? I know mistakes can be made anywhere, but if someone failed to account for his presence in court in December, is that just a "shit out of luck" situation?

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 6:23 PM, Thursday, January 11th]

Does that ever happen? That someone is not accounted for but they actually did show up butI got rescheduled?

Is it true that people that show up in court but are postponed to another date receive a piece of paper that shows when their new court date is? My son told me that he has paperwork in his wallet to show that he was in court, but that his wallet was of course taken by the police when he was put in jail.

I’m not trying to be bitchy about it, I just don’t understand the process. Doesn’t seem quite right that someone shows up to court and is told to come back later, but it isnt recorded that he was in court, may be perhaps an oversight. I don’t know. I hate to leave him sitting in jail for a month waiting on court if he showed up in December but was somehow not accounted for. But I surely don’t want to pay a huge lawyer fee to save him a couple of weeks in jail.

I try to remind him about court, but I always forget myself and he has never failed to show up to my knowledge. And when he comes home I try to ask about how things went, but I don’t push it because he’s an adult and I think he believes I’m trying to get in his business. But… He has a fetal alcohol affect due to his birth mothers substance-abuse while pregnant with him, and I think sometimes court can move quickly and and all the times I have sat in the court room for one of my kids, there are times when I have trouble following things. And I just wonder if when the judge explains things to him, if maybe he doesn’t understand, but is embarrassed to say that.

Im so very confused and frustrated. If it weren’t for his learning disability I would just feel that it’s completely on him and not worry about it.

Getting a public defender appointment is a process. He has to ask for a public defender and then fill out the form and one would be appointed if it shows he cannot afford to hire and pay a private attorney. Failure to appear is usually a charge that allows for the person to bond out with a new court date set. If he has no bond set at this time, it could be that he has not been before a judge yet. When there is a court date and the person does not show up, a warrant is issued for their arrest so that is probably what happened. I will add that it's not unusual for docket dates to get mixed up and confused. If you can look up his case online you will see an assigned judge's name and you are definitely free to contact the bailiff of the judge to ask questions. You could also try calling a bondsman and THEY can usually find out more information than you could.

You could also contact an attorney on your own (criminal defense attorney) and see what it would cost to have him/her represent your son and they could go before the judge and ask that a bond amount be set. The cost of a bond is usually 10% of the total bond. For instance if the bond is $5000, it would cost $500 to post bond to bail him out of jail.

If your son calls, ask him if he's been before a judge yet. If he's just been arrested, he may not have seen a judge, thus no bond has been set. But that should happen soon and bond will be set for him. I would not think he would be held long in jail. It would be to your financial advantage to wait until he goes before the judge and asks for a public defender and get the bond set. Then if you want to bail him out, you can. Hiring a private attorney would be expensive for you and an added expensive on top of the bond expense.

Good luck!

[This message edited by Jeaniegirl at 11:52 AM, Friday, January 12th]

WhatsRight

I’m going to sound so harsh and uncaring…
Please – I don’t want to go into personal detail, but I fully understand and get what you are dealing with… This advice I’m offering is based on something comparable that I had to deal with in the past…

Are you doing him any good in getting him help?

Maybe you should follow your own advice…
…but I don’t push it because he’s an adult and I think he believes I’m trying to get in his business.

In and out of misdemeanor issues over the years…
You the quasi-secretary reminding him of his responsibilities…
He doesn’t want you to be in his business, yet he’s demanding you be NOW…
Two semi/flirting excuses for why this isn’t his fault in your posts…
-Paper in the wallet, of course taken by the police… Do you think he couldn’t access that paper if necessary? The contend is categorized, and that would include a note about that legal document…
-Mistake at court… Of the two – the legal process that tends to run like very-late clockwork or your son with a string of midemeanors and requiring child-like reminders despite being an "adult" – which is more likely to be wrong?

MAYBE your best bet is to tell him sorry, but he has to shoulder his own responsibility.
HE can push the process for a PD (if that’s really required).
HE can formally demand his wallet is examined to confirm the "mistake" at court in December.
HE CAN TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY….

I’m guessing that quite a number of years ago he started wiping his own bottom. I’m just suggesting you allow parenting to develop – to progress – and allow him to be what he already demands he be treated as: An Adult.

Please – I can understand helping a child that’s down. But if the child is constantly running into the same hole again and again and again… eventually that tumble you feared will take place. Right now it’s "only" jail-time until a court appearance is decided. If he doesn’t learn now… it might be more than a tumble.

Thanks for the input.

Perhaps I have given the impression that this is a giant, serious concern. It is not. He got a DUI a while back. He went to court. It was pushed to another date several times. Unless he lied to me, he went to court each time.

I don’t remind him about court. I do not even know the court dates. To my knowledge he has never missed a court date, because he usually comes home and will snarl a bit to me that they have pushed it back again and he hast to go back.

Where we live, it can be 10 days to two weeks after a arrest, before you go before a judge. I made my original post just trying to see if there’s any way to just double check whether he was in court in December or not, before he had to spend the time waiting to see the judge.I know that I would personally hate to sit in jail for 10 days to two weeks on an error that caused an arrest. Not saying there was an error, but maybe the possibility.

I am not able at this point to even have the choice of bailing him out. He cannot get bail. No bond is allowed because it was a failure to appear charge. I totally get that. If someone fails to appear in court, it seems a bit ridiculous to give them a bond to appear at another time in court, when bail is all about guaranteeing his appearance. And, of course, the police don’t deal with anything but the charges / arrest.

I am almost certain that once personal effects are placed in the safe, the one arrested cannot get to them. Since I posted my original post, it has been explained to me that I could suggest to my son that he sign over his personal belongings to me, and then I could get a hold of the wallet and check the paperwork. I have not spoken to him since yesterday, so I haven’t been able to make that suggestion to him.

He was just arrested Wednesday evening, so when I spoke with him yesterday several times, he was still being processed and had not even been placed in the jail.

I have been told since his arrest, that he will probably not have to wait the 10 days to two weeks to see a judge. That the process here is that he would have a video chat with a "magistrate" who would ask him his intentions when he goes before the judge. Will he have a lawyer? Will he need a public defender? Will he plead guilty? That type of thing. (That doesn’t really make logical sense to me, since I would assume you would want to wait until you had representation before you determined whether or not you were going to plead guilty. But maybe that’s just my ignorance of the process.). I’m hoping that my son could present the situation to the magistrate at that time. It may or may not make any difference.

Bigger, I certainly don’t think you are uncaring. However, I do sometimes hesitate to mention my children’s disabilities on this site, because I believe the response is to assume that I am making excuses for my children. Their whole lives I have worked hard to encourage them to make the most of their lives. To be accountable. That their difficulties are invisible and the world mostly doesn’t care if you have legitimate issues. The world will expect them to be responsible, accountable, etc., and they should be. At the same time, I have interceded when I felt it was he right thing to do. Such as with IEPs at school. The only reason I mentioned his disability was that a fast paced courtroom can be a challenge to follow, and I wondered if he just misunderstood something, or failed to sign something, which might result in him not being counted present.

Anyway, his charges are small and will not result in a great deal of jail time, and so I will not be hiring a lawyer for him. The only reason I was considering speaking to a lawyer was in hopes that SOMEONE could advise me about something I could do to double check his attendance record for December. In all the calls I have made, there was no one who would help me with the process. The best info I got was from my sons friend who was with him at the time of his arrest, and had some experience of his own.

For those of us not in the legal field, it would truly be nice to have an individual who is an information specialist of some kind. That way, you could talk to them and ask questions like this. Whereas now, if you ask a question, you’re just told to get a lawyer. My whole thing was that I just basically wanted to know if there was any way to double check about his court appearance.

Much ado about nothing, I guess.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is very real. My aunt and uncle adopted twin babies that were 8 days old. The bio parents were severe alcoholics and voluntarily gave up the infants. When my aunt and uncle went with the social worker to pick up the babies at their home, they were in dresser drawers, screaming their heads off and their little bodies jerking. 8 day old babies suffering alcohol withdrawals. They were adopted and my aunt and uncle loved them so much. They are now adults and these babies, in spite of how my aunt and uncle loved them and gave them great opportunities -- have had such troubled lives. Drugs and alcohol, jail time for DWI offenses and not able to hold down a job. My uncle went to an early grave, worrying about them. My Aunt, now elderly is STILL having to deal as she is raising their teen children who are also developing bad habits. My aunt and uncle tried everything including counseling, traveling to well-known hospitals to try to get help with their FAS issues. When they became adults their bio mother would entice them to her house and they would all drink together.

I don't feel FAS is an excuse. it's a sad fact of life.

[This message edited by Jeaniegirl at 10:51 PM, Friday, January 12th]

Yeah…it can be really tough. My boys think I’m a hardass when they don’t understand exactly what I’m trying to get across.

Yesterday, when my son was asking me to get a lawyer, I was trying to explain to him that a lawyer could not do him any good until he goes into the courtroom with that lawyer. That the court room is the vehicle for what will happen regarding his charges. And the jail was just the waiting facility to get into the court room. He was so frustrated with me that he hung up on me. So I have not spoken to him in 24 hours now.

I think they have struggled so much in their lives, that they very much want to handle most of their "stuff" on their own. But because of the FAS that becomes a real issue. And when I try to guide them in a different direction that makes more sense, they think I’m meddling. It’s a no-win situation.

I have to tell myself all day long every day that "they will be OK, they will be OK." Because I’m getting pretty old now, my biggest worry is that they will become homeless when my husband and I are gone. Which is why I’m struggling so much too be as frugal as possible so that I can continue to pay our life insurance policies. If only I can leave them enough to be able to have a place to live, then I believe that they will be able to hang in there and at least make some sort of life for themselves.

TBH, my husband is more optimistic than I am.

"I do sometimes hesitate to mention my children’s disabilities on this site, because I believe the response is to assume that I am making excuses for my children."

WR, post whatever you want or need to. You don't have to explain yourself. You know your kids best.

We're here to support each other.

If only I can leave them enough to be able to have a place to live, then I believe that they will be able to hang in there and at least make some sort of life for themselves.

I think it's this son that has blown money on a gun when he was allegedly really wanting a car, so I would have a hard time believing that your worry now and trouble now in trying so hard to hang on to this insurance is going to go well in the future. Believe me, I hope it does! I just hate to see someone trying so hard to provide for someone who seems likely to blow any insurance money that comes their way unless you've got some kind of trust set up where they/he can only access smaller amounts, as needed or in some kind of time increments. If you don't, maybe this is something that needs some looking into, too.

You should be hanging onto to your husband's insurance for your own well-being, that's for sure.

No, this is not the son who bought the gun.

I just heard from him. His 1 free call after being processed.

Said he will be in for 9 months. Asked for some phone credit.

Trying my best to hold on to the insurance policy. It is not a small policy because my husband got it when we first adopted our three children and I quit my teaching job at the university to stay home with them. So he got it in case something should happen to him because he was the only breadwinner. Awfully expensive. Can’t get a lesser policy now due to H’s poor health.

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 1:37 AM, Saturday, January 13th]