SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Because of my education, I know so much more about life stressors than most, excluding this particular population. I know, for example, that the first four years of a child’s life have such a huge impact on future relationships that basic parenting should be taught to 15, 16, 17, 18 year old kids, while still in school, since so many of them are pregnant or supply the sperm. That 4 year time is the solid rock we stand on for the rest of our lives. Without it every single thing in life is harder. That isn’t to say other traumas don’t have impacts because they do. Being bullied, being raped, living with violence in the home have major impacts on us. If your subconscious is very suspicious of others it will not let you trust enough to let down barriers. Even if you have no idea what is running the bus it is so powerful that it controls everything. That is why a stress free childhood is so important. There are very few hidden issues. This does not excuse cheating, stealing, raping, arson or murdering. It only explains that someone who knows better chooses what feels good in the moment. In fact they are almost driven to misbehave because there is so much hidden rage inside. Rage bubbles under the surface for years. Antisocial behaviors, including cheating, are the explosions coming to the surface. If someone says they do not know why they cheated there might be a very good reason for that. They don’t have any idea. They love their spouse, so why are they doing it? It’s because they don’t trust anybody enough to stay loyal to them.
I know my husband got 2 entirely different messages growing up. He was not mistreated as a baby but he was not nurtured the way he needed. There were way too many children too close in age for their mother to have the time to give to them. On the other hand during a severe illness he was the child she cared for minute by minute when he was seven. After that he was the golden child. So he came into adult hood loving attention from women, but married to me and loved me. He cheated while traveling. I was told, rug swept, and we grew up. The only thing now that I see crop up from time to time is anxiety which he does not see because he has had it all his life. I accept that there is no perfect life but I would not trade the life we have. We have had some great adventures and by his hard work has allowed me to travel.