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Thank you Tush. I guess there is no magic pill for him either.

Mr. Z and I and family are giving him extra love. We will do whatever we can for him.

I think he knew zebra dog was sick before we did. He was acting funny at night, crying and barking which he had never done. They didn't sleep together. He had always put himself to bed in his crate and slept through the night. Recently he had been trying to go with zebra dog and crying throughout the night. He hasn't made a peep since Z dog left us. He also spent that morning by his side with his head on him.

Dogs amaze me and I feel privileged to be their mom. ❤

They are amazing for sure.
My sweet boy knew she was doing worse before I picked up on it. They played daily in the afternoon playing fetch. She stopped in the last 2 weeks and prior to that would stop after getting her ball a couple of times.

Losing them and the fact that they don't live long hurts for sure.

It sure does!!

I'm so glad that I have you all who understand and share my pain. I cried right along with each and every one of you and felt your losses when you said your goodbyes.

It is certainly something to cherish that he brothers / sisters of our angels that have passed seem to suffer from the loss.

I have been perplexed that neither of my dogs that spent every minute with my Maggie have given any indication that they even notice that she’s not here. On the one hand it makes me sad that they don’t seem to miss her, but on the other hand I wonder if God isn’t hiding their grief for me, because I might not be ready to see it.

Zebra, still sending thoughts / prayers your way. ❤️

Thank you WR. I think of you often.

My sweet, sensitive little rescue followed Zebra dog around and would lay next to him and rest his head on him. He is now clinging to me. In addition to my grief my heart aches for him.

I took rescue dog for a walk today. It was a beautiful sunny day. Tears were streaming down my face as I walked along missing the tug of Z dog's leash. Z dog loved to nap in the sun after our walks. Today his empty bed lay in his favorite sun spot. I still cry every day for him.

This one is hitting extra hard. I really do have perspective but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

WR, I'm so sorry you are going through this too.

It's been five years since my Big Boy Golden Retriever left and it's still SO painful. I can just SEE him lying under his favorite shade tree, not taking his eyes off me, watching my every move. I still miss him so much. I can walk out to his burial spot where he has a headstone and I have a bench there and the tears just roll down my face. Honestly, I miss him more than I do some of my human friends who have passed. That may sound odd but it's the truth.

It's such a VOID and even though I have two bonded rescue dogs that I got 5 months after I lost him, they do not fill the void. I love them dearly and they are so cuddly and sweet but they aren't HIM. I have found myself trying not to get TOO attached to them because I know they will someday leave too. They are 8 and 7 years old. Little dogs, totally opposite of my big boy.

Nothing really helps the pain, even time, I don't think. The VOID is there to stay.

Goldens are one of my favorite breeds. They are such beautiful, loving happy dogs. Your big boys resting spot sounds beautiful. What a great idea to have a bench there.

I completely understand missing your big boy more than some of your friends. We spend every day with our dogs and they are always happy to be right by our side. They do leave a giant void when they go.

Thank you for sharing your grief and your memories.

Jeanniegirl, I totally agree with you, and so glad you said it. I love that you have a bench to sit on and reflect near where you laid his body. I built a retaining wall on the hill where we buried our Mr. K dog. Someday maybe I'll put up a solar lantern to light the night, to symbolize the way he lit up our lives. (Or is that too corny?)

But yeah, I feel just the same about Mr. K, a rescued half Labrador, half German Shepherd?/Arctic breed sled dog?/Eastern Grey Wolf & Coyote cross? Wish we'd done a DNA. Just a unique individual, and sadly there will never be another dog like 'himself.' I struggled after he passed to think about what we might find that would seem anything like him, as he was a 'one-off' creature, but then our 9-year-old Shepherd girl was grieving hard for months, too, so I had to decide. Pick a high-energy Lab puppy? Or an intense German Shepherd (like the vets always though he was mixed with) or...? Because no matter what, I knew we'd never have him back, even in body type, let alone his spirit, his essence.

That dog had most all the beloved Labrador qualities (except hated water, wasn't interested in ball toss games or toys of any kind - he preferred wild game and was a super hunter with his 2 inch long canine teeth! In fact, when we adopted him at age 2, the vet found his hide was peppered with buckshot on one side, from his wild dog days stalking local farm critters and getting shot at!

His smarts, enthusiasm, expressiveness, intuitiveness, love of travel, GPS like a freakin' Disney movie, and his steady temperament were honestly the daily blessing that kept our difficult lives from coming apart for over a decade. I know I will never hear another of his long, drawn-out sighs of boredom from behind that big old easy chair, again...."Oh, HUH-Huh-Huh-Huh" he would emote. Something huge left our lives when he died last Thanksgiving, and the girl dog he left behind, and even our sweet bomber boy GSD pup, don't really help me stop choking up whenever I think of him. Crazy!

Superesse, Mr K was a special dog indeed.

I love reading about your dogs past and present. It helps. I had one friend that was a true dog person and she passed away a few months ago. She was very active in Golden rescues throughout her life. I miss having her to share this with.

Sending positive thoughts to all of you who lost fur babies. They are family. Really sorry for your losses. Animals seem to know things we don’t.

I also love remembering funny stories about my Big Boy Otis. He really wasn't much into going in the car but he'd go, just to be with me, I think. He'd ride on the passenger side and sit up like a person. He preferred the convertible so in the summer we'd take that and he'd take exception if any dogs barked at us going through neighborhoods. He'd bark right back.

Right before he passed I asked the vet if he thought Otis could make it on a long car ride all the way to Cape Cod. I was driving to see my daughter and wanted to take him, to see the ocean as he'd never seen it. The vet said as long as I stopped often and let him walk around, he thought it would be okay. A lot of work for ME as his hips were getting bad and he had a hard time getting in and out of a car. So I took the SUV, made him a really great bed with foam and blankets, had fresh water and food and snacks - and off we went. Aprx 1400 miles. We stopped at rest stops along the way so he could walk around and he loved that as he'd meet other doggies in the doggy areas. I had devised a beach towel to wrap around his body so I could help lift him in and out of the back of the SUV. Not easy as we weighed about the same at that time. And something I've forgotten to mention is he understood every word I'd say to him, for a long time. And he LEARNED TO SHAKE HIS HEAD 'NO' ... about things. It was so funny! We made it to Cape Cod and I will NEVER forget the look on his face, seeing the ocean for the first time. He looked at me as if asking permission to go into the water and I said go for it. He LOVED it, jumping into the waves and playing like a puppy. My daughter's Shih Tzu ran and played with him and they had so much fun. We were there for a week and he was in the water almost every day. It was early April and the water to me was cold but it didn't bother him. On the way home I sensed his hips were really bothering him. He was reluctant to unload and walk around very much. As we got closer to home, I just knew he was anxious to get home. We were six hours from the end of our trip and I stopped and said ..."Okay big guy, last stop before home!" And he looked at me and shook his head NO ... telling me he'd just wait. He was happy to finally get home but I do know he totally enjoyed the trip. I am very glad I took him. My daughter took a photo of him watching the water. She had it enlarged and framed for me after he passed.

At the last of his life he tended to wander so we had to watch him closely. He came up missing one day after my Mom let him outside and we looked for him for three days -- putting up posters with his photo, going door to door. Finally a nice lady about a mile away brought him home, He'd went to her house and she let him in and she said he wanted to lay by her fireplace. She had taken him to the groomers and when she brought him home, he had a bright red bandana around his neck, all spruced up. Had she taken him to the other groomer nearby, they would have recognized him because he went every three months for a bath there. He just loved everyone. My neighbors still talk about him.

[This message edited by Jeaniegirl at 8:41 AM, Sunday, December 3rd]

Thank you for sharing those memories Jeanie. It made me smile picturing you and Otis cruising in a convertible together. I have lots of wonderful memories of Cape Cod and the beautiful beaches there. I'm so glad you and your big boy got to enjoy a trip there together.

Jeanniegirl! I can just picture your Otis all during your journey with him to the ocean, and what a memory! Lovely that your daughter framed that photo, too. Summed up so much about your love for him.

Isn't it amazing how in tune some special dogs can get to us humans? Shaking his head "No" because he understood that YOU'd interpret the gesture that way? It shows such social intelligence!

Now our old Mr. K didn't do that particular thing, but he used to talk English when we were getting close to home on our gravel road. He'd whine and mouth noises in a high pitch, until one day, I asked him "Do you want to run" (down our long gravel driveway)? He replied, clear as can be from his perch on the console, "I wanna RUN!" We'd do that a couple times and then, just to see if he was "talking people talk" to me, I asked him for more particulars: "Do you REALLY want to run?" He'd reply "I REALLLLYYY wanna run!!"I never recorded those conversations and how I wish I had, because after we got our girl pup, she'd just bark along with him and it was like he remembered "Oh, we're dogs, right; we just bark" and he never "spoke English" to us again. He trilled sometimes, too. Anybody ever hear that? In his last few years, the running down the driveway became the trotting ahead of the truck, right down the center of the track, when he realized he couldn't keep the pace, he made sure we wouldn't smoke him by getting to the house FIRST! He was the Lead Sled Dog.

When we travelled across country, he'd sleep in the back of the truck cab with our other dog, but somehow he would always wake up and put his head over the console to note the scenery change as we approached river bridges like the Mississippi or the Hudson, and every state line. I think he'd listen to me comment like "Here we are in ____" and would want to check what was different. He'd look to the right, look to the left, stare down the highway smiling, and noticed any mountain ranges, then he'd lie back down. I am sure he was memorizing the route for our return trip, in case we got lost! We did a trip up to Maine with him 2 months before he died, partly to give him that purpose in his life he so craved.

Otis in the convertible seat reminded me of the final scene of that movie Racing In The Rain. A real tear jerker if you haven't seen it. And based on a true story.

Was Mr. K a Husky, by any chance? Those dogs can talk!

You all are amazing writers. I wish I could read a whole book of stories just like these. Anyone wanting to take that on? A book? I have images in my head of your babies.

I can see Otis running in the ocean. I can’t imagine the joy as you finally got there…yours and his. I’m SO very happy that you took him on that trip. I imagine it added to his life. But for sure to his joy.

Of course dogs can understand and evidently speak to us.

I understand wondering the heritage of a dog…to try to replicate it. I was thinking the other day that I so wished I hadn’t had my Maggie cremated, so that I could have sent off her DNA to try to find "another Maggie". Just to be with her again.

But just as with other loved ones (the human ones) there is no replicating our fur babies. Every experience before and after birth, and their dna, makes them who they are, and I absolutely believe that there can never be another Maggie. I’m guessing y’all feel the same.

I’m just so thankful and honored that I was the one who had the honor of receiving her love. ❤️ But who am I kidding…she loved EVERYBODY. Other members of my family threatened to steal her from me after a visit. My niece who is in hospice facility administrator/RN had given me the go ahead to start her training to be a compassion dog for her patients at hospice.

Since she has been gone, there have been many fewer potty accidents in our home. So I think maybe she had been having small seizures for a while. Even more so than her dreams, or what I thought were her dreams. I’m guessing now in retrospect that she was the one responsible for the accidents in the house for some time.

I am trying hard to re-bond with my other girls. (No boy dogs in my home… A husband and three boys are enough penises in any home! 🤣). Bella, as always, seems thrilled to see me when I go in tens of times every day to check on/help my husband. She is so precious. I have had dachshunds my whole life, but Maggie was my biggest dog I’ve ever had. It’s just impossible to hug Bella like I could put my arms around Maggie and hug her. And Maggie would hug me back. She would actually take her front leg and put it around my waist when I hugged her.

My April (Beagle/border collie mix) has a renewed interest in me. She sometimes sleeps over here like Maggie used to sleep by my feet. Sometimes she just stands next to me as I lie on the couch, and just looks at me. It’s different than the way that she looks at me to go outside or to ask for food.

And my Jackie Chan… she is so very old. We had a bad storm last night and she has big trauma about weather issues… Even if it is just humid outside. I’m guessing she senses the barometric changes. Anyway, every time I snuggle her and calm her down and she lays with me on the couch, I’m tempted to pull away from her because I know she will be calm before too long. But I know I can’t. And I don’t really want to.

Oh damn, I just realized this is not my thread. So sorry for the t/j.

WR, our pack of pup lovers probably doesn't mind which thread you post your dog stories on...am I right y'all?

Maggie May, Otis, Mr. K, they're all waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge as they call it. (I have to believe dogs go to heaven; their Maker is there, and He has to love them like we do.)

Mr. K may have had some northern breed mixed in there, but every vet we saw always swore he had German Shepherd in him, and all we knew was his mother at the pound with him appeared to be a purebred black Labrador Retreiver, although her tail was a bit on the slender side, not the "boat tail" the show people want to see in a Lab. She was probably a Field Lab line. For years during down times on the farm, I would run internet searches on Labrador-Shepherd crosses - Shepradors as they are called - or Labrador-Malamute or Labrador-Siberian Husky crosses, based on our best guesses, and just scan thousands of dog photos. Never saw an all-black dog like he was; if it had any Husky, it was invariably marked with white or had light eyes.

Then I'd run a Labrador-Wolf or Labrador-Coydog cross searches, and those dog photos were more like him, but not nearly as graceful looking. I did come across 1 dog photo of a female in Colorado who got seized by animal control after neighbors claimed it looked like a wolf cross, but the owners argued it was just a fluffy German Shepherd with a narrow face. The owners took them to court to get her back, and I believe DNA proved she wasn't a wolf. But she was the closest match I ever saw to him, as he had the long narrow wolfy muzzle, and almond-shaped, slightly slanted eyes that glowed green at night in the dark! When he'd walk around outside with his head down sniffing, his floopy ears would turn out sideways, so feral. Looking at him with his long straight legs and narrow chest, he was downright feral! Especially when his hind feet always tracked in a straight line behind his forefeet, like a coyote's. His 2 front paws measured 4 1/2 inches toe to heel, way larger than his hind paws, and all his feet were long and pointy like a coyote's, not splayed like a dog's generally are. He couldn't even wear the large size doggy boots we got him! But I've seen that paw shape on some other German Shepherds, so maybe it was just a "throwback" to their wolf ancestors. His paws had hair between each pad, which suggested some Artic breed. The previous owners had named him an Alaskan name, too...but we have no idea if they knew who his Daddy was.

One time, a bounty hunter on our farm brought us a huge, dog-size coyote he'd trapped in our woods, just to show us how big it was. Mr. K approached the dead coyote with what seemed like either reverence or extreme caution....I felt like he was thinking "WHO is this?" It looked so much like his build, other than the pointy face and ears.

Just a long way of saying "I have NO IDEA" what epic lucky cross with a Labrador Mr. K was! I should have run a DNA, but vets told us they aren't that reliable, and the tests weren't including wolf DNA a few years ago. I think they do, now. I clipped a little snippet of his beautiful ruff as we buried him, just to have a tiny bit of his fur, but found out you can't do DNA unless you have the roots of the hair. So he came to us as a mystery, and he left us as a mystery!!

WhatsRight, I always planned to devote a book to this boy. Maybe this is the start!!

[This message edited by Superesse at 5:37 PM, Saturday, December 2nd]

We are honoring Mr. K by letting you know about all his wonderful NEW FRIENDS who were waiting on him at the Rainbow Bridge. He's not alone.

[This message edited by Jeaniegirl at 10:35 PM, Saturday, December 2nd]

🥰🥰🥰🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺🐕‍🦺

Excellent news about the book. Put me down for the first copy. 😊❤️

Zebra…how are you doing with missing your fur baby?

It breaks my heart to hear about your other puppy going through so much grief.

My dogs have not actually shown any sign that they have even noticed that Maggie is gone. And that is hurtful to me. But I know they must miss her. I continue to think about her many, many times every day. One of her sisters has started sleeping in her spot at the end of the couch at my feet. I have to admit my first response was almost resentment. Like, "you shouldn’t be there". But I tried to not ever let her know that. My sister has been very observant of my grief, and one of my gifts from her this Christmas was a pillow with a picture of me and Maggie on it. It was a picture I took myself. I was lying on the couch. I was leaning towards my left side and she was curled up underneath my shoulder on my right side, with her head in the nape of my neck. I never let it out of my sight. Plus I recently received her cremains and they are on my mantle.

Of course people must decide on their own about getting another new baby. But I second the idea of what tush said. Another dog will not replace the one you lost, but could be helpful for her. The one who is mourning her so much. Or, if that is really not a preference at this time, perhaps you could just let her have more time to play with your daughter’s puppies.

I watch my April – almost 3 years old - enjoying my older pup Jackie Chan – 13 years old – and I worry so much about it when Jackie is gone. I have to say that although it is a melancholy feeling, I am considering a new baby just for April.

Whatever you choose to do, I will be thinking of you in your grief. Give me a shout out whenever you need to, and we can cry together!

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 5:31 PM, Sunday, December 31st]