Sorry for the slow reply. I'll simply re-state what I said before: Stop negotiating with him. Hell, I'd recommend stop communicating with him at all if you can.
Some people get into a divorce situation and they think that they are so creative and inventive that the can "beat" the system. It really doesn't work that way.
One major thing that would concern me is when he resorts to lies and dishonesty. He can hide assets, make false claims about his income, make false claims about *your* income, etc.
Thanks, I am quite happy to go down a more legalistic route. I am confident in what I am saying. I know what I had put down was a more than fair deal.
Been there, done that with my ex-wife. I made a very reasonable offer. She rejected it, claiming it was unfair. She accused me of refusing to negotiate and refusing to compromise. In the end, she got less from the court than my offer. And to get "less", she forced us to spend at least $50,000 in legal fees. My kids want to go to college... that money would have been really helpful.
The way that I described our negotiations was... we had 10 widgets. She wanted 7 and I offered 5... and she complained if I didn't compromise and give her 6. Sound familiar?
He also threatened (again) last night to resign from his job - because then he wouldn't have any earnings so we'd have to go 50:50 on everything. I said, yep, you do that then. It's you you're hurting. Not me. So do it if you want.
Most family law courts have ways around this. Hopefully you have the threat in writing. If so, that would be fantastic evidence. As a minimum it would look horrible for him to have quit his Jon at this time.
I don't particularly want him to buy the house anyway, it would be easier logistically but it would be a big pull factor for the kids. So overall better for me if he doesn't have it. I haven't said that to him though.
You are 100% correct about this. However, this may be political capital that you *want* to spend to minimize the impact on your children. I was definitely worse off financially because I let my ex keep the marital home but I don't regret that at all. In contrast, you might want to seriously consider ways that you could afford the property -- that's one of the legitimate purposes of alimony! Talk to your solicitor.
I sent my draft to the solicitor and said he wouldn't agree it. She said I should ask for spousal support and some other things, including taking off my assumption of having/getting a job and being able to get a mortgage. She also said his threat to get a solicitor himself is a good thing because they will tell him he's being an idiot and that that was a very good settlement for him.
This is why you need a solicitor so much. The only part where I disagree is that he could get a corrupt solicitor that could make things worse. That's not likely, but it happens. My ex's attorney was crazier than she was, being honest.
Most maddening thing is he still thinks we're going to be friendly after this. As if the (repeated) infidelity wasn't enough. This on top is him burning that bridge right down.
Yes, he is completely crazy. Be careful.
A funny story from my divorce trial. I had an accountant testify on my behalf. He arrived a little early to court and he witnessed my ex testify. She was so absolutely angry that the accountant called my attorney after to gossip. He basically assumed that she was so angry because I had cheated on her... and he was shocked to learn the opposite was true.
Someone recommended a book about divorcing a narcissist. Definitely read that.
And again, listen to your solicitor and communicate with him as little as possible. Good luck!!