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Off Topic :
Stupid question re: elder abuse and financial abuse

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 12:27 PM on Wednesday, May 31st, 2023

ok. my sisters have accused memof financial abuse for a while (over a year now). Saying i will go to prison and my mom (the "abused") willnever see her grandkids again as they will be in foster care.

Mom is late 80s, forgetful but the docs Ive taken her to all say shes competent and can make her own decisions and does NOT need a nursing home. She will repeat a question but she remembers friends, family, events etc.

She planned a trip to Germany DECADES ago and went this summer. Sisters tris to stop it.

She has always help me financially since I had kids. I have the coolest kids!!!! OMG, seriously. I know pepple say that, but mine are amazing. My son built a life sized tank out of wood and nails etc and has dug trenches all thru our back yard bc he loves wwi and wwii history. He has had friends over to sleep in the tank, have epic nerf battles, etc. COME ON! How cool is that?! laugh

My daughter graduatd school at 16 and then lived in Spain for a year to speak Spanish fluently. she had skipped 8th grade so she could go to highschool where they teach a language (spanish),she interned at an office speaking spanish to customers in 2021, and she made frinends with a group of study abroad students from Spanish speaking countries and asked them to just speak spanish around her- doing this she skipped spanish 4 and was in spanish 5 senior year. After that she lived i Spain for a year.

and I have a baby 3 year old who is the bees knees grin

Mom helps these kids with school programs. Private school, Study abroad, etc. Shebhas always done this and is just continuing.

Sisters told me last year this is not fair and needs to stop. That its cutting into THEIR inheritance

By suing mom to stop her from spending money on these grabdkids (her only 3) is THAT financial abuse? I never thought it was, but am beginning to believe they are projecting and they are the true financial abusers

They also sent cops saying inwas embezzeling from mom because she paid for anhit air balloon ride (that she went on with me and my son) and that she paid for a fabcy dinner out in the big city for all pf us, in January 2022. (yeah, once!)

posts: 3839   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8793223
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 3:06 PM on Wednesday, May 31st, 2023

I would seriously speak with your mother about having a legal statement to go along with her will drawn up along with concurrent competency tests. If you think it's bad now, when you mother can short circuit their drama with a simple statement to authorities, just imagine the issues that will occur after she passes.

Sisters told me last year this is not fair and needs to stop. That its cutting into THEIR inheritance

Nothing stews me more than children feeling entitled to inheritance. Morbid and just screams selfish. I'd rather my mother live longer spending down that inheritance on what makes her happy than inherit. A parent's job is to prepare their children the best they can for life as an adult. Once their children are living that life anything else is just a bonus.

posts: 1619   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8793233
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 5:51 PM on Wednesday, May 31st, 2023

Your sisters must prove that your mom is not functional enough to make her own decisions.

Good luck.

They need a lawyer and a court and a hearing. They will need to spend $ to prove your mom is incompetent.

Then they need to prove that you "stole" your mother’s money. If you have a long history of her paying for things, your sisters may be out of luck in proving anything.

I would ignore their rants. Don’t even acknowledge it. Just so they know if you are sued and the claims are proven as baseless, you could threaten to sue them for damages
Etc.

Toxic people are the worst!!!

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14178   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8793258
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 8:07 PM on Wednesday, May 31st, 2023

oh yeah! we have been in court for a year. mom has an attorney and so do i. they dropped the case after the doctors said mom was competent to make her own decisions. mom is cutting them out of her will entirely and her attorney is writing in why.

ive been in therapy and honestly believed the sisters and thought i was a POS. However, after adult protective services, the cops, my moms attorney and mine all said im mot doing anything wrong…

I am starting to realize. THEY are the abusers. You dont say, "mom, dont spend your money on that! you need to give it to me!"

posts: 3839   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8793274
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 1:41 PM on Thursday, June 1st, 2023

Glad you are finally seeing the light, GGT!! And good for your mom to write them out completely! grin

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5628   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 8793355
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 4:30 PM on Thursday, June 1st, 2023

I bought into a house with my mum and lived there for ten years. My siblings were so happy - they all said "better you than me" because I guess they thought it would be too exhausting to get her groceries and take her to doctor appointments and outings etc.

Fast forward to where the house doubled in value and we (ex and I) had a 1/3 share and the oldest sister who has banker's brain and was doing an MA in senior studies decided to issue an edict that we were not going to be eligible to upgrade to a 1/2 share and in fact we should just move out and rent out our part to someone else (which made zero sense...).

The other three piled on with the character assassination that I was a thieving youngest child, and after mum died a few years later (after the house was sold) I cut them all out of my life.

Never been happier.

People are weird.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21575   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 8793390
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 9:39 PM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2023

shit faithfool- that sounds very similar.

at first it was middle sister bitching about the trip to germany. when she was on board with it two years prior! it was always gotta will get us all stranded and they used my baby as the reason. Baby doesnt have a passport- um, yeah he does. Lets see it. Here, here is a picture of it. Well that is OBVIOUSLY photoshopped! Why cant u give a straight answer! Does the baby have a passport or not!

(baby had a passport!! plus it was 6 mos before the trip, so enough time to get him one if i didnt have a passport already)

Now my sister who is lazy as fuck, sits in moms house all day doing twitter, (she is "retired") is tweeting that I am stealing from mom bc im too lazy to work for money.

FUCK YOU!

What she doesnt know is that wh’s law firm has taken off and he made 6 figures last year. The first years were rough, but now he is doing well. I dont need to steal from anyone! (and i really and truly do not steal from anyone!!)

I am a SAHM with 3 kids, a dog, WH, and an 80+ yr old mom that I take care of. I may not bring in cash but I work hard. She is mad bc I enjoy spending time w mom, and she is NOT a person with end stage alzheimers like sis says- i have taken sister’s "job" as caretaker. so now sis has no reason to live with mom or not work herself. its all projection. SHE is lazy and living off mom, NOT me

and middle sis? she constantly tells me im anhorrible mom and sjould have never had kids. She is an alcoholic (admitted, and has crashed her car drinking. Her husband has a DUI) She is projecting as well

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 9:42 PM, Saturday, June 3rd]

posts: 3839   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8793792
Topic is Sleeping.
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