Great idea, StillLivin. And yes, not legal advice since that varies so much, but definitely things to consider.
Put everything in writing – email or text – there are programs that you can use to copy texts into your email for archive purposes.
Everything is negotiable, provided you can argue that it’s fair. I convinced my magistrate that I was okay waiving child support because A. I made more and the CS would’ve been minimal, and B. that he waived any ask to my retirement in exchange, so I had emergency funds. Not many will let you do this (CS is often non-negotiable), I only use it as an example that nearly anything can be negotiated.
Alternating years for anything with the kids, I recommend actually listing the years. There will come a point where one or the other of you genuinely forgets whose turn it is or needs to swap a year, and having actual dates is helpful. If you live relatively close, consider splitting days – in my case, one would have the school break leading up to Christmas through noon on Christmas day, the other got the rest of Christmas day and the remainder of the break (incl. NYE), then flip the next year. Since we lived 15 minutes apart, this was easy.
For other kid stuff:
- Think about car expenses, extra-curriculars, college, medical expenses. Any of those sorts of things that CS isn’t going to cover.
- Make sure you put in a clause that both will deal with their own contacts for the schools as much as possible – you don’t want to have to be responsible for the rest of forever to pass on info. There will always be some of that, but minimize where you can. What you do need to pass on, send a pic of the paperwork so you have proof you sent it.
- Figure out what you’ll do about tie-breaking – if you disagree on something with the kids, how will you figure out the final say?
- Put in a time limit for requesting custody schedule changes – outside of emergencies, changes must be negotiated at least 48 hours out, for example, or notice has to be given of vacation plans by X date.
- Who is going to maintain health ins for the kids, and who is claiming who for which years? The IRS won’t care about who claims them, but something in your agreement at least gives you a place to argue from.
[This message edited by ChewedMeUp at 5:44 PM, Monday, March 6th]