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BS and I started to watch a new series "Blockbuster" on Netflix... Two jokes about infidelity in the first 5 minutes.

Turned off

I’ve divorced my WH but these are three shows I’ve seen this past year that reconciled couples or BS should just avoid.

1) Avoid watching any Below Deck reality shows. Watched the main show, first couple of seasons were ok but then, I think it’s third or fourth season, straight laced main guy is revealed to be a betrayed BF and ends up doing a mad hatter on wayward GF on show then proceeds to throw "crazy unhinged" OW under the bus to resolve main relationship and deflect any responsibility. Switched to the Below Deck Mediterranean, again first few seasons ok, mostly with betrayed partners as the "stars" but then one season the OW of one of the previous BGF is the main star and gushes about the deep connection wayward and her had, skipped that season and it just got worse. The current season we have a wayward girlfriend with her OM as the main stars and it follows her mindfuckery and piss poor justifications about her affair, she dumped betrayed BF for OM, then dumped OM because it wasn’t as great as she thought and got back with BBF only for her to lie to him about NC rules, meanwhile OM still trying to get back together, it’s a mess and just one giant trigger. So yeah, avoid.

2) can’t believe I’m writing this but avoid the musical Hamilton. Because it is so wildly popular I didn’t want to ruin seeing the show so I avoided any information about the musical. I had no clue Hamilton is a famous WH and they have a huge musical number in the show about his affair. His BS has a heartbreaking number about divorcing him.

I’ve heard there is a new doco movie on Netflix about one taste and was told to avoid. Apparently it romanticises polyamory and sleeping around and calls it female empowerment. It doesn’t end well because the "cult" is investigated for promoting a rape culture but I was warned because my xWH used polyamory as his scape goat justification for cake eating so any wayward who did the same might want to avoid this too as it’ll be triggering for BS.

[This message edited by LostInHisFog at 4:04 AM, Monday, November 7th]

Hippo I love your suggestions!

I watch "Antiques Roadshow" that’s mostly it for tv of any kind for me, even true Cinderella ending movies don’t seem to be safe for me as I enjoy them until the end where I’m left upset that I don’t have my own happy ending.

Nowdays I only watch movies or shows when WH insists and nine times out of ten whatever we carefully spent half an hour or more picking turns into one of those no go plots and it gets turned off.

It’s the same with books, I still enjoy a good love story until it ends and I get upset because I don’t have a happy ending. I even used to dabble in writing my own but can’t anymore because the only scenes I’m inspired to write are the mad, sad, angry ones.

If there’s a hobby you enjoy maybe you can find a YouTube video or podcast on it instead? I watch/listen to Minecraft videos and podcasts from some of the YouTubers I like.

Strange as it may seem, my wife’s friend suggested she watch Sex/Life on Netflix shortly after D Day. She even told her to not watch it with me around! What an epic insult to me that was to find out. I guess she was still winding down from the Dopamine high she had with her AP. It still eats at me!

[This message edited by Copingmybest at 9:06 PM, Monday, November 28th]

Man, I feel this. We're 7 years out now and doing well generally. Pre pandemic, so many people recommended Ozark to us so I finally decided to watch the first episode with my BW. Of course, the main character is with a prostitute in the first episode! I immediately turned it off and that was the end of Ozark.

These days, it's a bit better. For example, we were watching one of the Sebastian Maniscalco specials one night. He's a stand up comedian and was doing a bit about cheating and that being a sex addict is the lamest excuse one can come up with for cheating. I left it on and afterwards I asked her how she was feeling and if she was bothered by it at all. She said just a little, so maybe she's/we're healing. I still start to sweat a little whenever infidelity is referenced in any way, though. It's good to ask your BS about it and get it out in the open, however.

I haven't posted in a while, hope y'all are doing well.

I’m the BS and over the years (seven of them now!) my WS has learned to take triggering television as an opportunity to "check in" or discuss the scene if I need to. Lately tv triggers have even prompted her to volunteer some of her best gained insight into how devastating the affair has been and how very sorry she is that she damaged me so badly.

If you can’t escape them — use them. And give a hug and another apology any time you are given the opportunity. My wife was slow to do this and it has taken a huge toll on
me. Don’t waste any opportunity.