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Newest Member: Ncg88

Divorce/Separation :
Advice from those who have had a legal separation

Topic is Sleeping.
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nekonamida ( member #42956) posted at 9:48 PM on Wednesday, May 25th, 2022

The thing about the worsening behavior is that it ends the further away you get from her. If you signed that post nup, the peace would be kept only until she needs something else from you that you are not sure you want to give her. Then it's hell until you give in all over again.

posts: 5232   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2014   ·   location: United States
id 8737080
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 Flaco (original poster member #80117) posted at 12:24 AM on Thursday, May 26th, 2022

Good point. Believe me I thought about that. That was the basic advice, once I sign a post I’m sure agreement she can basically dangle it in front of my face whenever she doesn’t get what she wants.

Technically I’m already ahead of where I started besides the legal fees. Her original offer kept our retirements separate and she has agreed to go 50-50 on those.

My lawyer says they are not able to attend the trial date set so I’m hopeful they can evaluate our financials and tell me the bare minimum I’m willing to except and what should be reasonable. It looks like I’ll have to represent myself with their input.

DDay 12/6/20 married 13 years at that time. Me: BH 46. Her: WW 41
2 beautiful kids. Legally separating which may turn into D

posts: 51   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2022   ·   location: Sacto
id 8737105
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HalfTime2017 ( member #64366) posted at 2:43 AM on Thursday, May 26th, 2022

No, dont represent yourself. YOu're doing yourself no favors by doing that. Since she is the one making more money, let her ass wait. You also need to have an agreement in place right now as you go through divorce, and the attorney should help with that. If the divorce drags, so be it, but she should be paying child support and spousal while the divorce is taking place. Ask your attorney.

posts: 1424   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2018   ·   location: Cali
id 8737136
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TurnedTurtle ( member #65603) posted at 12:42 PM on Thursday, May 26th, 2022

Agree, do not represent yourself. You need an attorney; if the court date is fixed and can't be changed, and your current attorney can't be there, then they should find a co-counsel who can go in their place (or you should).

Wasn't your attorney involved when the court date was set? Why did they let you agree to the date if they couldn't be there to represent you? This isn't making sense to me...

[This message edited by TurnedTurtle at 12:46 PM, Thursday, May 26th]

"Secrets have a cost, they're not free, not now, not ever!"

posts: 178   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2018
id 8737184
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 Flaco (original poster member #80117) posted at 2:24 PM on Thursday, May 26th, 2022

I had hired the attorney on a consulting basis with the understanding she would step in to represent me if things weren’t fair. I guess I didn’t understand the process. I’ll talk to them today and see if we can get it worked out. The attorney stated that the court would not negotiate but simply divide 50/50 but now I’m more worried. I’ll reach out to them today and see if we can straighten this out.

I’m stressed out with all this and the school year ending and clearly not doing this the right way.

[This message edited by Flaco at 2:44 PM, Thursday, May 26th]

DDay 12/6/20 married 13 years at that time. Me: BH 46. Her: WW 41
2 beautiful kids. Legally separating which may turn into D

posts: 51   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2022   ·   location: Sacto
id 8737199
Topic is Sleeping.
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