SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

New and I need opinions here.

Found out my wife cheated on me a month ago but she’s lying and telling me she didn’t. I don’t believe her. So I’ve blocked her. I’ve been hooking up with random chicks but I think I finally found the woman of my dreams. She’s got a boyfriend but she says she will break up with him but hasn’t yet. I have her working with my company taking on the manager role. We're not social media official yet....she hasn't added me on her social media friends list yet.

Does anyone think she’ll leave this guy for me? Should I give her some time?

And no she doesn’t know I’m separated from my wife. Wife plans on filing for divorce anyway so what’s the point in me telling her? I consider my wife my ex wife anyway. Done with her.

...

So now you're the other man? You're OK with that?

You can't find a single woman?

The woman of your dreams has a boyfriend. And you are withholding major information from her.

You need therapy.

[This message edited by HellFire at 9:18 AM, June 8th (Tuesday)]

Stop dating because you are in no way ready to do so. As is evidenced by the fact that you are now hurting someone else in the exact same way your wife's affair partner hurt you.

Please get into IC to help you deal with your wife's infidelity and get yourself into a better mental place.

My opinion?

This is a trainwreck.

First off, it's always best to be done with one relationship before starting another. We all realize that divorce takes a while and some of us were years getting a divorce. However, you're too new and raw with this to be a decent partner to anyone.

You haven't started to heal yet. You're self-medicating with women and random hookups. That might feel good now, but it's not a viable long-term solution.

Secondly, the "girl of your dreams" is someone else's girlfriend. So basically, you're hooking up with a cheater just like the wife you're going to discard. You okay with being the side piece? And to complicate matters, you're bringing her into your company. This doesn't go well in most instances. Don't do it where you eat, please.

So she's not introduced you to her friends or gone official on SM. BIG. RED. FLAG. She's at the very least cake-eating and at the worst using you to get a leg up on a job.

And you're doing no one any favors by not being upfront about your situation. Don't you think you owe the "girl of your dreams" honesty?

My advice: leave this trainwreck now. Get yourself into IC and get started on healing before bringing anyone else into this shitshow.

Cat

Is this a joke?

We're not social media official yet....she hasn't added me on her social media friends list yet.

Of course you’re not, her boyfriend would find out.

Does anyone think she’ll leave this guy for me? Should I give her some time?

No, but if she does, congratulations, you’re in a relationship with another cheater.

I have her working with my company taking on the manager role.

You know that saying about not crapping where you eat? You’re about to find out why people say that.

[This message edited by asc1226 at 9:45 AM, June 8th (Tuesday)]

No this is not a joke. Why would it be?

I feel I HAVE moved on from the ex wife. And it's important to let you all know how much. She has the nerve to contact me while I was in Puerto Rico with living my life with another woman..asking me if I had filed for divorce yet because she would if I haven't. So I had to block her. Once I met this girl that following week..I let her know that while she's trying to file for divorce I met the woman I'm with now. I showed her pictures of me and her. It may have been a little overboard with the nude photos of me and her but she needed to know she was replaced and that she's non existent to me.

Feels like a MM/incarnation redux.

So you haven't told your gf that your married? Why?

Edited because I failed to hit two letters

[This message edited by DigitalSpyder at 10:02 AM, June 8th (Tuesday)]

Oh Lord. You have fun buddy.

And it's important to let you all know how much.

Gosh thanks. It sure sounds like you are having a blasty blast! THANK YOU!!!

Anybody who joins an infidelity forum to announce that they met the girl of their dreams while still married...5 minutes after dday...and wants dating advice seems to be trolling us.

You found out a month ago that she cheated and have been hooking up w random chicks. And in your words, you “finally found the woman of my dreams” (after a whooole month of randoms and she just happens to have a BF). 🙄

Trainwreck.

Grow the hell up. Get a divorce. Quit being a cheater now yourself and quit using women to attempt to heal from infidelity. Do the work yourself.

I wonder how your dream girl would feel,knowing you thought so little of her, that you showed her naked pics to someone.

Why are you ok with participating in hurting another man?

If you had moved on from your WW you would be working to divorce her and your response to her inquiring about about filing would not be to lash out with nudes of you and the chick that’s cheating on her boyfriend with you.

Get a lawyer and deal with your divorce.

Get into individual counseling with someone who is versed in treating trauma.

Dump the cheater and tell her boyfriend that he’s living the same lie your wayward wife put you through.

It helps to move on with someone. All I do is think about the hurt..look at photos and videos and cry....if I'm being completely honest. I'm still very angry. But my gf helps... she's fun, I feel appreciated now...she's helps me care less about who my wife may have been or be screwing.

ETA: I don't want to talk to my wife...she's not worth my time... So I've blocked her from communicating with me. I lost everything for her when I caught her cheating...I have nothing for her.

[This message edited by Tornin2pieces at 10:46 AM, June 8th (Tuesday)]

[This message edited by Tornin2pieces at 4:46 PM, Tuesday, June 8th]

There are no shortcuts to dealing with betrayal trauma. You can’t go around it, you have to go through it to process it in a healthy way. Screw as many girls as you like, but that pain isn’t going anywhere until you deal with it.

Catwoman, I totally agree.

stubbornft - I had similar thoughts.

Madhatter is asking for relationship advice for new GF, when he is actively trying to break up an existing relationship. What could go wrong? OP is lying to new GF by not telling her he is married. She is cheating on current BF with OP and lying. Clearly, both parties have good morals.

As this will likely blow up in everyone's face, my advice to OP is - continue on. You seem to be a "it makes me feel good" person, so have at it. Will she leave her current BF for you? Maybe. If she does, she seems the type who will dump you when the next man comes along. Enjoy the moment, I guess.

For any sane person, I would say that cheating is wrong, what your WW did to you doesn't excuse your actions and assisting in the betrayal of the new cheaters BF.

I could go on for quite a bit, but I'm not going to waste any more time.

WTF

So, in your mind, it was wrong for your wife to have cheated on you, but it’s totally OK to be dating a new woman who is just like her, doing the same exact thing? And it’s ok for YOU to be adulterous....just not your wife, though.

Ok then. I guess it’s only wrong if it’s done to you. Not if you, or the girl whose side piece you are, are the ones doing it.

[This message edited by Darkness Falls at 11:14 AM, June 8th (Tuesday)]

[This message edited by Darkness Falls at 5:14 PM, Tuesday, June 8th]