In another thread I said I would ask Andi if there were any other stale danishes/donuts that she had before the OM that I knew about.
I bluffed her a little and gave her that look that I might already know something.
"I'm starting to hear some things from long ago, are you sure t%$#& was your only OM," I asked.
Her answer was "no" almost in a whisper, hard to hear, and she started shaking.
There was one other, and it happened during the fifth year of our marriage, when we were having sex almost everyday and planning our future. The sex with OM#2 took place in the office at night, when she was supposedly working late.
I told her at her DDay that if I found out she withheld other sextra-curricular activities that it would be over -- even if it came to light years later.
I asked why she never told me at her DDAY and she said it had been so long about, 20 years, and that she "didn't think it even mattered at that point and I was already paying the price for cheating."
I'm not mad, just numb now, exhausted, we had such a great time this weekend and now this.
I always had an uneasy feeling about a guy she was working with in the early years of our marriage.
I don't know what I'm going to do, I feel I have to keep my word from her first DDay -- that it would be over if she withheld anything -- and at this point I'm inclined to keep my word.
I told her to go to MC on her own this week.
She's been upset today, didn't go to work, but I have no empathy right now, none.
I know my A was wrong and brought pain into our marriage, but I came clean about everything.
My best friend in life is a divorce lawyer, think I'll ask how him how to get the ball rolling.
[This message edited by MyAndI at 10:46 AM, April 27th (Tuesday)] [This message edited by MyAndI at 4:46 PM, Tuesday, April 27th]