Topic is Sleeping.
NotTheSideChick (original poster member #72132) posted at 7:53 AM on Monday, June 22nd, 2020
I just dipped my feet into the world of online dating. I know the reputation it carries, but good lord the attention is getting from these guys is like nothing I’ve ever had from my husband.
I’m finding a lot of anger as I navigate this. I’m angry because he never complimented me or showed interest in me like these guys do. And I’m angry knowing that he acted this way with his AP.
In any event, the online dating world is FUN. It’s so refreshing. I’m just getting started, so I lm not jaded yet (😂 but it’s nice to hear from other people that there are special things about me. Who knew?
"I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be your side chick."
-Lizzo
TheLostOne2020 ( member #72463) posted at 1:12 PM on Monday, June 22nd, 2020
Good for you. Find someone who appreciates you and chooses you as a priority.
LoveTKO ( member #54298) posted at 2:02 PM on Monday, June 22nd, 2020
I know what you mean! I never did online dating but I started going to a local open mic night with friends after separation and found out many nice men were very interested in me. My STBXWH never complimented me, put me down, etc. It was so refreshing to be valued!
Eventually (2+ years later) I ended up in a relationship with someone not from that open mic but in the same circle and he cherishes me and loves me. I'm not walking on eggshells anymore - I'm totally honest and totally myself and he loves it. I'm happy.
Enjoy!!! You deserve it
Me: BW
Him: FWH
LTA one year with local MOW
Dday: 12/4/15
Done - separated
Jesusismyanchor ( member #58708) posted at 3:47 AM on Sunday, June 28th, 2020
Just taking off my ring and existing has drawn attention from men that I never got from my H. I have been asked out many times including people who knew him. I do get upset thinking about how low and bad I felt with him. How he never complimented me. I either felt criticized or ignored. I felt very self-conscious and resigned myself to thinking the only value I had was as a mother.
I totally understand why you are enjoying this attention!!!!!
Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 12:16 PM on Sunday, June 28th, 2020
I do get upset thinking about how low and bad I felt with him. How he never complimented me. I either felt criticized or ignored. I felt very self-conscious and resigned myself to thinking the only value I had was as a mother.
So much this. Except in my case, he often pointed out what a terrible mother I was, so I didn't even have that value with stbx.
Yep. Dating is really fun.😁
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
Jesusismyanchor ( member #58708) posted at 4:41 AM on Friday, July 3rd, 2020
Well Bleep I do have to say my WH never told me I was a good mom!
Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future
FlipFlopFlamingo ( new member #71914) posted at 3:59 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2020
I feel this completely, and hope you can relax and enjoy it. I re-entered the dating world about 5 months ago and am still having trouble believing that the attention, positivity, and encouragement I am receiving from others is "normal." The things that you become accustomed to in a marriage with a selfish and immature person is unbelievable. I still kick myself for not recognizing the shortcoming in my relationship sooner - but I was committed to my wife and my marriage and lots of these small things I was doing without were largely irrelevant.
One bright spot is that I expected myself to be much more jaded when it came to women and relationships. That simply wasn't the case. Also, I never became overwhelmed or frustrated with online dating (recently deleted my apps). My advice is to be honest, both with yourself and the people you interact with, and I don't believe you will have any trouble or completely "bad" experiences. You will certainly come away with some stories, but there is so much opportunity in the world if you are open and honest with yourself and others.
Good luck, and enjoy your new world....
Anna123 ( member #70908) posted at 2:58 AM on Monday, July 6th, 2020
Ditto! I had so much fun dating and being treated like I was wanted (in whatever way it truly was LOL:-).
Enjoy this time!
LadyG ( member #74337) posted at 7:40 AM on Saturday, July 11th, 2020
It’s amazing how good it feels when you have a polite 3 minute conversation with a person you don’t even know. It brightens your day.
It also reminds me how rude, nasty, ill mannered and impatient my STBXWH is. He was big on complimenting me, but only when he wanted something in return.
I haven’t worn my wedding rings for about 2 years and not that it attracted male attention but even the guy at the hardware store today was super friendly and helpful.
I know it’s his job, but I didn’t notice how charming other men are when I was still with WH.
I am no longer afraid to speak to other men. I don’t flirt and I am no way near ready to date but the compliments and attention is refreshing 🙏🏼
September 26 1987 I married a monster. Slowly healing from Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼
Topic is Sleeping.