Topic is Sleeping.
JanaGreen (original poster member #29341) posted at 7:13 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020
Does anyone else feel repulsed when your mind wanders to the past, having sex with your ex? I feel queasy just typing that out.
None of my other exes bother me when I remember the past but it makes me ill to think of exH that way.
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 7:49 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020
Yup, I feel the same way!
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 7:49 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020
Oh yes!!! The thought truly repulses me.
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 7:50 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020
Omg!!! I was literally just thinking this about an hour ago. I was watching a security camera video of stbx dropping the kids off in my driveway. I never ever see him in person. All I could see was his head sticking up over the top of the car. I had this thought, "OMG. I am repulsed by that man. I can't believe I EVER had sex with him. (Gag!!)"
Yep. I absolutely feel that way. He is 100% repulsive.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
JanaGreen (original poster member #29341) posted at 8:09 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020
That picture Ellie! lol
My ex is objectively nice looking but ugh that personality
LadyG ( member #74337) posted at 6:39 AM on Friday, May 22nd, 2020
Only this week, STBX WH asked me what Revulsion means?
I sent him a screen shot of the Dictionary meaning and Google Translation in a second language we both speak...
He got it! Finally...
September 26 1987 I married a monster. Slowly healing from Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼
nutmegkitty ( member #33882) posted at 6:16 PM on Monday, May 25th, 2020
It is the definition of revulsion....
Me - happy!
2 DDs
Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.
J707 ( member #63778) posted at 1:44 AM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2020
I wouldn't screw her with the APs dick!
Yeah, nasty, repulsive and disgusting.
Decimated ( member #31656) posted at 7:35 PM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2020
I completely understand this.
I always thought my XWW was the most beautiful woman I had ever known, no exaggeration. I used to lust for her even after 3 kids and 16 years of marriage. Maybe I was wearing my love goggles but that is how I felt about her.
I haven't spoke to her since I divorced her 7 years ago. I only see her on rare occasions like a wedding, a funeral, and if shes happens to park in my driveway to see the kids, which is rare. Other than that, I avoid her at all cost. When I do see her, I don't see the same beautiful woman that she was. I see every flaw. I see the ugliness. She disgusts me. All I see is a cheating, lying, selfish whore that senselessly destroyed her marriage, family, and her children's future. There is nothing special about her anymore.
Me -BH 47, now 56
Her-XWW 39, now, who cares
D Day #1 9/09 found out about texting
D day #2 1/11 found out EA on going
D day #3 4/11 found out EA was a PA
Divorced 1/13
Anna123 ( member #70908) posted at 10:07 PM on Monday, June 1st, 2020
Mostly revulsed about the pick-me dance phase. WTH!! Ughh. I think I 'm going to take a shower now just thinking about it.
thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 6:15 PM on Thursday, June 4th, 2020
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 9:46 PM on Monday, June 8th, 2020
I'm still IHS and everytime I see him I feel revulsed, repelled, and repugnance.
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
fraeuken ( member #30742) posted at 9:52 PM on Saturday, June 27th, 2020
I chose to spend some time with EXH a few weeks ago when DD graduated high school. Aside from his general antics, being abrasive and a jerk to DD's boyfriend who is the nicest kid you an imagine, I had exactly that thought - how could I have ever????
And no, I don't have that thought about any other ex. Those are good memories or at minimum they don't cause a negative response. EXH makes my skin crawl.
Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.
twicefooled ( member #42976) posted at 4:53 PM on Sunday, June 28th, 2020
I had to deal with the ex for daughters grad celebration this week. I had to use mental bleach after the encounter. ((((shudder))))
May 29 2021 ***reclaimed myself and decided to delete my story with my ex because I'm now 7 years free from him and mentally healthier than I've been in years.
*********When you know better, you can do better*************
Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 5:56 PM on Sunday, June 28th, 2020
It's interesting that I found my STBXWW gorgeous before her A, and as one poster said, when the love goggles came off, I saw her for who she was.
What I find really interesting is the comments from people who just meet her or see her briefly. They say that she carries a darkness with her, a bad energy. It's like she is giving off something that can sour milk as she glides by.
I believe beauty comes from having a good soul and hers is damaged and dark. Maybe she will have an epiphany, but if it happens, it will be in her senior years, when she is alone and free from the distractions she uses to self medicate. Who knows. As they say, not my monkey...
Oh, yes, ugly as a slab of rancid meat. That was the original question, right?
I'm an oulier in my positions.
Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.
Divorced
GraceLove ( member #59212) posted at 4:19 AM on Wednesday, July 15th, 2020
Great post. I am totally repulsed and disgusted by the idea. Absolutely. And I don't feel this way about any of my past ex's. None.
There is something vile about him. I saw a recent picture and he is so very ugly. His soul has seeped out to his exterior. Hard. Callous. Ugly.
Interesting thing is how many people who knew him had nothing positive to say. It was this unanimous thing...'I never trusted him, he was creepy, he had cold eyes, his eyes were like steel, couldn't figure out how someone like you was with someone like him....it went on and on. Not one person had anything good to say about him. That says alot.
99problems ( member #59373) posted at 4:45 PM on Thursday, July 16th, 2020
Yes, the thought makes me want to vomit profusely. It would be like sticking your dick in the "glory hole" at a seedy bar (you're putting it where hundreds of other men have recently, who knows what you'll catch, and you won't feel good about yourself after).
I can't believe my beautiful daughter came out of there...
Got me a new forum name!<BR />Formerly Idiotmcstupid.<BR />I am divorced, so not as much of an idiot now- 4/15/21,
devotedman ( member #45441) posted at 1:17 AM on Friday, July 17th, 2020
I don't see either of my exes any more.
When I think of either of them, though, I feel a bit badly for them. They're people, too. They have hopes, dreams, etc.
And they don't have the tools, the Self-awareness, the introspective ability, to figure out why they've not gotten what they wanted. They don't know, and they'll likely never know.
That seems pretty sad.
Me: 2xBS b 1962 xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.
JanaGreen (original poster member #29341) posted at 4:03 AM on Friday, July 17th, 2020
Devotedman, you're a better human than I.
Topic is Sleeping.