SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

You've moved out of state to get away from telling people we're divorced. You aren't admitting it's because you were unfaithful.

The D hasn't been final 5 months, and you're engaged to somebody who doesn't know you're a cheater.

Is it any wonder that your children don't want to deal with you any more?

Need a safe place to release some pain and anger....

How dare you treat our children like that. How dare you criticise them for standing up to you. How dare you put your own pathetic, selfish ego before their mental health- they are both struggling so much with what you have done . How dare you tell bare faced lies about the financial abuse you have put us through, they see and have told me about your ‘lifestyle’ that has come at the cost of their security. How dare you try to gas light them . How dare you make them feel scared and anxious. How dare you use them the way you have. How dare you shout at them for speaking their mind . How dare you. They are worth a million of you and your OW . You are not worthy of them.

Don’t upset my children again you nasty, pathetic, lying #######

You tell more lies than truths. Lying is your default setting. You lie about things that don't even matter either way. You lie just for the sake of lying. What the hell is wrong with you? Asking an honest question, what the hell happened to your brain to cause it to misfire 98% of the time?

Holy crap, thank God I left your ass. Go fuck yourself, lying liar who lies.

I hate you, WH. I hate you , hate you, hate you. I hate you for all the negative things you put in my head. All the lies you told me about myself that I now believe. I never thought I was stupid or inept before. I used to believe there was nothing I couldn't do. I used to feel pretty, sexy, and confident. I used to have friends. Not a ton of friends, but friends nonetheless. I never thought people didn't like me. I was never she or afraid of people.

I fucking hate you.

I thought I could be rid of you. How dare you tell threaten our son that if he doesn't do what you want you will seek revenge????
I'm so sick and tired of the years of abuse and having to do things your way or you will retaliate? I'm so tired of you seeming to hold all the cards.

I can't believe how you just texted me that you are leaving your car in our driveway without permission and then go overseas, without leaving the keys. Who the hell are you? We found a spare set and put the car on the street and then you threaten our son with revenge??

You don't even know that your grown son believes you are a psychopath and I know he's right.

You are fucking useless. Seriously, just give me the money you owe me and be gone. I've got this.

so I checked marrried "girlfriends" facebook page, yeah, I know, shouldn’t be doing that. BUT got a laugh. She posted her wedding picture for their ten year anniversary. remember her husband was a married man when they were dating, dad to twins under 1 year old and both were your employees..

Everyone is congratulating her. SOO, are they congratulating her for this one lasting the longest of her three marriages OR that she only cheated once (that I know of, arent you proud to be the one?) with this marriage? It’s almost killing me not to add that question. Maybe you can ask her?

What makes you think I want to talk to you and answer YOUR questions? It's still manipulation. That is all you know! Then you have the nerve to make our 18 year old daughter your flying monkey. I wish you would fall off the face of the earth!

Who knew you could LIE so well in a deposition?

I just received the copies today and it is nauseating.

I can't even finish reading all your lies today, there isn't enough daylight left.

Several years ago a mutual friend felt her husband was cheating, you were good friends with him and at the time looked our friend in her eyes, and mine, and said nothing was happening, this girl was "just a friend".

Our friend hasn’t been dead for more than nine weeks but now her husband has moved this other woman into their house and has told the friend group they’re seeing each other.

You’re a sick SOB who has been cheating on me for over a decade and now I know you’ve kept company with another long term cheater, how many fucking more are there in our mutual friend pool? Who have you been covering for and who has been covering for you?

You make me sick, I literally have nausea pains knowing that this new turn of events is going to make me cut these people out of my life, I no longer trust and I’m sure there are some innocents like me but since I have zero faith in anyone anymore I’m going to back away from all of them.

I hate you so much tonight.

Genius, I haven’t replied to a single text you’ve sent since we’ve separated, what makes you think I will now?

Stop. Texting. Me

I can’t wait until our divorce is done. What a colossal waste of life you were.

Are you and your lawyers kidding me?

Yes. Normal humans absolutely do settle things to facilitate a divorce. They close bank accounts like the one we have with less than $1 in it. They separate things like dental insurance policies. It costs the same and then we have our own policies. They tell the truth about assets and income.

What are those recurrent deposits into your account? Why is there a pic of you on the internet with some expensive item you did not tell the court you have.

And they settle marital debt. Like they sell or liquidate stuff and pay off debt.

And they allow their bw to move on.

What a novel thought.

Dear ex-wife of six years ago,

I understand you want to blame me for your affair and find fault with how I responded to your treachery. It's true that I was the one who called it quits, after giving you a year to begin to win back my trust. It's true that I filed for divorce. Those facts are true and I don't regret that I responded in healthy ways to all your destructive behaviors. I suspect that your AA sponsor being on the Board of Directors for the organization for whom I've worked for years led to actions to formally marginalize me at work. Okay, maybe that's part of my punishment for having supremely bad judgment in not seeing who your truly were.

I get it that, as a recovering alcoholic, your fragile ego has a bottomless appetite for fulfillment. And as I'm seeing, you are all too happy to put your alcoholic ego ahead of everything, even your our daughter's well being. Even during the last of marriage, you began clinging to her as your confidant, your therapist, your best friend, your cheerleader, your self-image supporter and ironically, as your parent who could forgive your childish impulses.

In doing so, you have heaped immeasurable harm on her. You've campaigned for her to join you in vilifying me as you have done for the past six years. You think I'm a piece of shit? Fine, the opinion of someone as soulless as you means nothing to me. But to poison your own daughter's mind/heart/soul just to protect your own ego is the most depraved thing a human being could do.

It may spring to your mind, "What about the time I broke and screamed at our daughter, 'Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! YOU'RE the reason I want to get shitfaced drunk! YOU'RE the reason I want to put a bullet in my fucking head!'" Well, that was awful and it did serve as a demarcation of our daughter shifting her anger from you to me. She saw how supremely broken you were then.

But even that incident was a single moment. As horrible as it was, it could conceivably be dealt with as a signal of your brokenness. Contrast that with the years' long campaign of convincing our daughter that I was the proper recipient of her anger, that you were the victim and that in some perverted logic, Dad was the perpetrator. And of course, you knew I wouldn't actively rebut any of this to her, as it would cause further distress to our fragile daughter.

Now our daughter won't speak to me or communicate in any fashion. Could it be because I had been pushing for she and I to have joint therapy to deal with all of this? That was the trigger for her. And I can imagine how threatening that feels to you. You know the danger of our daughter's epiphany moment, when she is finally able to see how clearly you have been and remain the single biggest threat to her security of any person on the planet.

Well, that day is going to come. You should fear it, as it will mean she sees you for what you truly are, a manipulative narcissist incapable of loving yourself and anyone else. I too dread that epiphany, because it won't be a ray of sunshine. It'll be a dissonant thunderclap that will cause her immense pain. But I will also celebrate it as her chance to lead a life without the gigantic rotting albatross of an abusive mother. I won't celebrate it around her, but inside, I will be enormously relieved for her.

You backed the wrong horse lol

So last night I had the joy of dealing with a number of text messages from our 10 year old son which included:

"I’m thinking about u I miss u"

"It’s not the same since u left"

along with a string of things he misses about me not being there. All I could do was cry as each message came through and just apologise to him for things having to be this way. If only he knew the truth, I so much want to tell him that I didn't "leave", that you had an affair and have chosen another man over me, over our family. I hope you think this is all worth it, that the pain you've caused our son is worth it.

You are a disgrace, morally bereft and so is your new boyfriend, two peas in a pod and I hope you ultimately find nothing but misery.

I wish I could just scoop up our son and remove him from your life but unfortunately he's now got you as his primary care giver and in the not too distant future I'm sure he'll have to live under the same roof as the man that broke up our family. The though of it makes me sick.

If only he knew the truth, I so much want to tell him that I didn't "leave", that you had an affair and have chosen another man over me,

IMO I’d tell him the truth in a sanitized way. Your mom has a boyfriend so we can’t be married anyone. You aren’t doing him any favors by keeping him in the dark. At 10 he’s not stupid and knows somethings wrong.
Lying to him isn’t helping him or you.

Sorry you’re here.

I have already told her that I’m happy to keep up the illusion of we’ve just split up mutually as long as the AP isn’t part of his life.

The moment that AP gets introduced to my son I’ve been clear that I’ll be telling him the truth over who he is and what she has done.

Trying to control or manipulate your x wife is like trying to push a rope.

The other thing is this keeps you bound when you should be trying to move on with your life.

Oh, stop with the poor me bullshit. What happened last night? Did your new little girlfriend bail on you so you started feeling sorry for yourself again so you decide to text me once again about how sorry you are?

I will never understand how you willingly wasted 20 years of your own life just to not be the one to break up with me.

You're fucking stupid. Dumbass

If you're really sorry, you'll pay me what you owe me without me having to ask again.

[This message edited by Sally24 at 3:24 PM, Monday, November 8th]