heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 1:20 AM on Saturday, August 25th, 2018
bump to keep all the target threads together. May these threads help you all.
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:13 AM on Thursday, August 30th, 2018
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 6:10 PM on Thursday, September 13th, 2018
bump 
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:00 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Somber ( member #66544) posted at 4:11 AM on Saturday, October 20th, 2018
Thank you for your insight! I am a newbie and came across this thread. My WH claims he is remorseful and indicates all that he does to show he wants our family to heal. Truth is, he is rugsweeping and we both have our entire marriage. I never really knew what true remorse was but I always knew I wasn’t getting the feeling that things were improving in my heart and soul. Our trust has been shattered multiple times, most recently with an affair I found out about 6 months ago. There has been no full disclosure. He gets frustrated when I bring it up and asks me not to say her name. He avoids talking about it. Instead he thinks making dinner, being home more and planning family outings is effort. He even planned a trip to Disney which I initially thought was insane...I mean we are at rock bottom and you want to plan a trip. My second thought I couldn’t do it as a single parent so it will be good for the kids. It is effort for our family but not remorseful! He also tries to rush me to be intimate or close to him and truthfully I can’t stand him anymore!!!
By you made it clear what true remorse is and nothing on that list is happening for me. So sad!!
[This message edited by Somber at 10:12 PM, October 19th (Friday)]
Me: BS, 41 / Him: SAWH, 43
2 children ages 7 and 9
“The truth is still blurry but the lies are getting clearer”
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 1:19 AM on Sunday, December 2nd, 2018
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 9:14 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
Teakettle77 ( new member #68785) posted at 8:34 AM on Sunday, December 23rd, 2018
Wow, so first post. Thank you for that. My WS was meeting all of the rugsweeping critera during our reconciliation, which helped me articulate why I wanted to separate. I actually send him this image. It helped me not only realize how little he was doing I think it helped him too.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 5:33 PM on Saturday, January 5th, 2019
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Edie ( member #26133) posted at 8:28 AM on Sunday, February 3rd, 2019
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:35 PM on Saturday, February 16th, 2019
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:37 PM on Tuesday, March 5th, 2019
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
emergent8 ( Guide #58189) posted at 7:07 PM on Friday, April 5th, 2019
Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.
Edie ( member #26133) posted at 6:42 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2019
Edie ( member #26133) posted at 9:24 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2019
heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 2:24 AM on Sunday, April 28th, 2019
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
hadji ( member #57945) posted at 3:54 PM on Saturday, May 11th, 2019
Me: 27 BS (at the time of the A)
Her: 25 x-fiancée (Definite EA. Could have been PA)
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:41 PM on Saturday, June 1st, 2019
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 2:01 PM on Saturday, July 6th, 2019
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 5:19 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
