Do you have to identify your affair partner?
When my husband had his affairs, I discovered them so I knew the identity of his AP’s before I even confronted him.
I am going to be confessing to my husband about my affair when he gets home this coming weekend. I am worried about telling him the identity of my AP. I am afraid he may confront my AP or even become violent. And make things worse for everyone. My AP is not someone who I see often. We don’t work together, we just work in the same field. So we only have a chance of seeing each other a couple of times a year. And I have no doubt we will avoid each other in the future. We don’t live in the same community. My husband has met him once but there is no reason that my husband will ever see him again.
Any suggestions on how to navigate this situation?
0 comment posted: Sunday, June 22nd, 2025
Do most people consider watching porn as cheating?
I recently cheated on my husband. And I am not making excuses for my actions. I take complete responsibility. But I am trying to sort out all of my feelings and take a hard look at myself. My husband has cheated on me at least 2 times in the past. 10 plus years ago. About a month ago, I saw that he was following all of these instagram sites of barely clad women, most in compromising positions. I confronted him and he agreed to stop following them. When I asked him why he was looking at those sites, he said if I dressed like that, he wouldn’t have to look at those women. I am also 90% sure he watches porn.
I would like to get opinions from both wayward spouses and betrayed spouses on your opinion on this type of behavior.
5 comments posted: Saturday, June 21st, 2025
Taking Responsibility without Blame
I am having a really difficult time finding a way to explain to my husband why I did what I did without sounding like I am blaming him and not taking responsibility for my own actions. I have not confessed yet to my husband because he is out of town but I plan to when he gets home.
Because my husband has cheated on me in the past, and I feel like we never got past that, I believe that opened the door for me to cheat on him. I still made the decision, I know. But I have never felt like he took complete responsibility for his actions. We just tried to move on. But I have never trusted him fully. And always felt like I was waiting for him to do it again. It killed any confidence and self worth. However, I have been fairly good at concealing that. But I have definitely craved outside validation from others.
0 comment posted: Thursday, June 19th, 2025
How do I stop missing my AP?
I am a former BS X2. (10 plus years ago) We are still married. We have tried to make our marriage work but I just haven’t been happy. And he knows this. He has had a major alcohol problem and it has really taken a toll on our already fragile marriage over the last few years. I made a mistake and fell in love with a married man. Or at least it seemed like that to both of us. His wife found out recently and he has totally shut me out. I am not mad at this. Neither one of us ever said we would leave our spouse. My husband is out of town and I plan on telling him when he gets back. I just don’t know how to stop missing my AP and thinking about him constantly. We had been in constant communication with each other for over a year and now that is just gone.
4 comments posted: Tuesday, June 17th, 2025
