2 years after affair

hi just like to ask for some advice my wife had a 5 month affair 2 years ago i caught them using sound recorder they were in our bed obviously confronted her she denied but threatened to kick her out and she admitted it i found out she had got drunk and chatted the bloke up in front of my older children the affair started 2 weeks later via snapchat my gut said she was cheating but it took me 4 months to confirm. she treated me quite badly during the affair but i had 4 kids and did my best to stay strong and do everything for them she had said at the start of the affair she needed to go on long walks to help her mental health but that was obviously a lie as she was finding time to be with him we have been together 25 years and generally been happy and always done my best for her and the kids I've never cheated.
for the first few months it was bumpy she wouldn't leave the house and had anxiety also her family were disgusted with her and would not speak to her. she made me stay in with her and kept accusing me of seeing someone else if i went out so i stayed with her a lot and helped her through it.
about 2 months ago she changed she joined a gym and started going out a lot more seemed like any excuse to be out of the house we hardly seen much of each other as she said she needed this to help her mental health we had no physical contact and it was just a few kisses in this time and she would go to bed early again which felt like she didn't want to be around me again. last weekend i just felt i had to say something so i asked if i could check her phone as things were not right between us again i looked on it and did not see anything but did not look that hard.
so she said that I'm to controlling and she wants to separate after Christmas i have never once cheeked her phone since the affair
and feel bad for doing so but the signs were there I'm not controlling i let her go out drinking once a month with her friends and she is free to go out anytime with friends for coffee im just so stressed and worried about the kids and the house im not a big earner and money is tight can anyone give me advice please what i can do feel really low as everyone said i should of kicked her out when I found out now it seems she's controlling me again.

12 comments posted: Wednesday, November 20th, 2024