12 weeks on and it's still so painful, when is the betrayal going to stop hurting?!

My husband told me, on my birthday (55), that he was sleeping with another woman. That was 12 weeks ago (precisely). I honestly thought I was his world and he was definitely mine. My world has shattered. He works in Iraq, has done for 11.5 years despite us agreeing to it being only 2 possibly 3. We have 4 kids (all are diagnosed as neurodiverse) and I was desperate for him to come home. Yes the money was nice but I'd had enough of raising our kids alone, I wanted to have my partner back. He says he slept with her to punish me because I was bullying him (asking him to give up working in the Middle East). Said he still wants to retire with me but that I will have to wait another 10 to 15 years.

Naturally we're splitting up but I thought I'd be angry. Instead I'm just totally lost and in pain.

I just need to hear from others who have gone through it, or are going through it. Just to be able to talk to others. Some days I'm strong, others I'm struggling to get out of bed. My youngest is 14 so I do still function (thankfully) but staying strong for the kids feels so hard. Yes they've seen me cry but his bombshells never seem to stop. Now he's not coming back for Xmas (he's off to the far east (where I'd hoped we'd next go)) and the kids are really upset. I've tried to ensure they keep their relationship with him but when he does things like this I wonder why I bother.

10 comments posted: Saturday, September 7th, 2024