Caught my wife in the act with a friend.
I posted this on Reddit about 3 weeks ago via an anonymous profile I created. Someone replied that this a very safe place with nonjudgmental people, and that I should copy the post here.
My wife an I have been married for 16 years and have two amazing kids. We’ve always considered ourselves best friends. We fight at times, like anyone else, but it’s very seldom.
We had friends over for the night a couple days ago. Whenever we get together we either stay at their place, or them at ours due to the distance. We always drink, reminisce, play board games, etc. They are some of our best friends. His wife and I always go to bed earlier, we are not stay up all night people. My wife and her husband will talk all night. Neither of us ever thought we had anything to worry about.
This night was no different. His wife and I were tired and went to bed. They usually stay in the basement, but we gave them out daughters room since she was away at college. I had to get up at some point to get some water. I got up and went to the basement to find them fucking. He’s lucky I didn’t kill him. My 15 year old son was home. Athough I freaked, I mostly kept composure and my voice lower. I put my hands on him, but somehow was able to stop. I had to think of my son. I went up to the room his wife was sleeping and woke her up. I told her that this was going to be incredibly hard, but I needed her to be quiet no matter what because my son was in the room next door. I told her exactly what happened. Amazingly, she was able to hold her shit together. She got him and they left.
We found out later the next day that they did this once before- that they admit to anyway. I am so fucking lost right now. Our daughter just started her freshman year in college, and this will destroy both her and my son. I told her I want a divorce. She is balling her eyes out and saying it was a mistake, that I am her entire world, and she can’t lose me. Yesterday I flipped on her and told that was all bullshit. Once might be a mistake. Twice is on purpose and premeditated. I have no idea what I am going to do going forward. I just needed to get this off my chest. Other than his wife, I have not spoken to anyone about this. I set up an appointment with a therapist for Wednesday. I’m fucking broken.
It has been 3 weeks to the day as of today. I have seen a therapist, and find it as helpful as possible at this time. My WS is finding someone as well. I have agreed to try marriage counseling. I feel I owe that to my kids after 18 years of marriage. I’m still as lost as ever. I’m still having a roller coaster of emotions, but overall I am just so fucking sad.
199 comments posted: Monday, September 23rd, 2024
