Years ago

So my wife cheated on me 15 years ago. In many ways the pain is as sharp now as it was then. Unfortunately I've learned that this is a lifelong issue. A treatable thing but it doesn't go away.
On the D-Day I came home from working the night shift. House was empty, Kids at school and wife at work. I moved the mouse to wake up the computer and there was an email she had failed to send. I started to click it off but something caught my eye. In it she talked about how hot her boyfriend was and how great the sex is. I have to admit it was an interesting sensation. My brain both locked up and yes was flooded with a thousand thoughts, all at the same time. I've never been more stunned. I wasn't expecting this at all and simply had no reality to hang on to at that moment. I didn't know up from down. Everything all at once was thrown into confusion. It affected the present, yes in that moment, but suddenly my entire past with her came into question. It's affected me deeply and like I said quite frankly I've never gotten over it. I have a hard time forgiving her and cannot forgive her AP at all lol. But this single event messed everything up for me and continued to be a problem. I doubt now she even thinks about it, unless to think about how nice the affair was. Her mind gets off Scott free and my mind will forever wonder if my current partner is out there...

36 comments posted: Sunday, March 31st, 2024