Newest Member: findthebeautywithin

Brokenself

Anniversary is coming up

It’s going to be my birthday/Anniversary coming up, I am feeling anxious, I remember when we were still together we agreed to celebrate it by going out of the country. Now looking back my stomach turns into knots because he was just pacifying me, he was already having an affair with his coworker! We got married on my birthday, at the time I thought it was sweet celebrating my birthday and anniversary. Oh if I only knew , I feel so stupid now my birthday will always represent being abandoned. I thought I was doing better but geez I can’t help but wanting to reach out to the AP and his sister, and tell them what he did. I want him to hurt as much as I hurt. I want them to know, what hell he put me through, that his selfish, the lying, cheating with prostitutes but I don’t because I know it’s not going to change anything.
I’m so fearful of the holidays I can’t believe it’s almost been 8 months, we probably communicated via text 2 or 3 times since the separation, he makes it sound like it was my fault! He is living the life he wanted he is living with his AP. He rarely sees the kids when he does, only for lunch, and the kids are okay with that. Their grandma doesn’t even call them to ask how they are doing, I feel like we were forgotten the twenty years together disappeared. I’m sure he told them his side of the story, to make me sound the evil witch. Are they ever going to see what they did! We don’t deserve this.

5 comments posted: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023

Do I move for my sanity

Hello, I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. We are in the middle of divorce, what my husband did was so painful I can’t seem to move on. The only thing I can think of is moving closer to my family, I want to run away and never see him again. We have two kids teenagers, he sees them once a week for a movie or dinner. My question is I want to move but my youngest son doesn’t, the house brings so many painful memories. I have developed anxiety going to the store that I might run into him. I feel stuck, I don’t want to hurt my sons feelings.

23 comments posted: Wednesday, July 26th, 2023

It’s over and I’m not ok

I finally reached out to an attorney to proceed filing for the divorce. My exh said he was going to but haven’t communicated with him since I called him out on all his lies, he blocked me instead. Been married 18 years together for 20, with two wonderful teenagers. Been separated since feb. this year. I am devastated, I thought I was living a wonderful life a great husband and beautiful kids. Come to find out it was all a facade. Found out after he left before looking me in the eyes saying there’s no other girl involved, the truth came out. My exh had been having an affair with a girl from work for a couple of months, they still together. then found out prior to that his been paying escorts for sex, I don’t know for how long but for what I know it’s been 5 years. I’m trying to figure out what part I played in the marriage, why was I so stupid not having any intuition that something was wrong. He blamed me saying he was depressed because I didn’t show him any affection and that he had to beg for sex. I asked why he never talked about it, I didn’t think anything of it because he was suffering with ED so I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Since the separation Im realizing we both have communication problems , and I’m realizing I have avoidance issues. His right maybe i pushed him to seek out comfort outside the marriage, it hurts so bad to know I caused it and now it’s over. I’m trying desperately to feel any sense of normalcy but I can’t stop thinking about it day and night. I hurt, I’m trying to fix myself getting therapy but I still yearn for what I thought I had.

7 comments posted: Tuesday, June 20th, 2023

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