Newest Member: findthebeautywithin

Flashman

New Year, hopefully new me.

The goal for this year is to be a better person. For myself, my wife, WarriorPrincess and for humanity in general.

Basically, I grew up where lying and dishonesty wasn't a big deal. It wasn't that it was an immoral thing to do, but we may go to Hell for lying.

Porn use has also been an ongoing problem for me.

So honesty and porn are my two big problems right now.

When talking to WarriorPrincesss, she told me that if I want to be a good, honest person, you make a commitment nd do it.

I don't believe I should have weak commitments, because in the end, they will not work.

Iv'e had a stroke 20 months ago, and am trying to rebuild myself anew.

Right now, I guess I have a lot of "hard edged" ideas, black and white, I'm trying to find rules that I need to live by.

So I guess this is a personal journey.by the way, Happy New Year to everyone.

0 comment posted: Friday, January 1st, 2021

New Year, hopefully new me.

Duplicate post

[This message edited by SI Staff at 2:45 PM, January 1st (Friday)]

0 comment posted: Friday, January 1st, 2021

Im the jerk husband who keeps hurting WarriorPrincess

I guess this is my first post.

Anyway, here's my problem: Iv'e had an online affair in 2015 which wife found out about.

After a lot of back and forth, I agreed to go to Retrovaille with wife.

Let me say, it helped change me and was working towards reconciliation.

Then on 3-22-2019, (my sons birthday) I had an ischemic stroke.

After 5 months of rehab, I went back to work. I thought I was fully healed.

Turns out, I lost the ability to be a kind person. I was selfish, mean, angry at everyone, self centered, vain and just an asshole to my wife and son.

After several huge arguments over the summer, we seperated, expecting divorce.

While I was away, about 18 months after the stroke, my brain created new pathways for me to be my pre stroke self. (at least that's how I understand it to be)

I had feelings of guilt, remorse and sorrow at the loss of my marriage.

Around October, I started to reconcile with wife and was making progress.

On Thanksgiving weekend, my wife caught me using porn.

Now wife is talking about possible divorce.

I need to change several ways:

1. Stop using porn

2. Be honest and stop lying

3. Why do I need to get instant gratification at the expense of MY marriage.

Any help would be appreciated.

52 comments posted: Tuesday, December 15th, 2020

Im the jerk husband who keeps hurting WarriorPrincess

Duplicate

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:48 PM, December 15th (Tuesday)]

0 comment posted: Tuesday, December 15th, 2020

Im the jerk husband who keeps hurting WarriorPrincess

Duplicate

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:49 PM, December 15th (Tuesday)]

0 comment posted: Tuesday, December 15th, 2020

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