Newest Member: findthebeautywithin

Wool

Will the hurt ever end!!!

I have been through several affairs with my WH but this time he actually left and is living with his GF. He is 56 she is 33 with a 5 year old. Together we have an adult son and a 17 year old girl. This is her senior year and he has ruined it for her because of his selfishness. Not just moving out in October and filing for divorce, but bringing AP to her games 3 days after divorce was final. She had not even told anyone about the D because she doesn’t like to talk it. Then he strolls in with a 33 year old (our son is 32) and her 5 year old. This happened twice . He now lives with his AF and I’m sure planning on marrying. He did not spend any holidays with his kids besides opening presents in his car with our daughter.(he went on a cruise with her instead) He sees her about 1 hour a week to go eat but then has made remarks that I see her more. He chooses not to. He chooses this woman over his kids. He missed so much of her senior year it is hard to believe anyone would want to miss out on their child’s life. He used to always say how she was his baby girl . It’s like a switched has flipped. I just don’t understand how selfish someone can be. And then 1 month for her studio dance ends for the year AP goes in there to sign her 5 year old up where my daughter has gone since she was 3. It is all a way to get to my daughter. I wish Hm and his AP/GF would stop forcing her down my daughters throat. After the dance studio thing she came home crying begging me to get her into a counselor. Which I had tried to do before but she wouldn’t go. I am just shocked how he could do his kids. She will remember…my son is adult and he knows everything. He actually pulled his dad out of the ballgame to tell him it was not appropriate for her to be there…my daughters senior night.

1 comment posted: Tuesday, April 23rd, 2024

Still confused and struggling

My divorce was final January 25. He had multiple affairs over the years and I still hung on. He was having another affair and finally filed for divorce himself this time. He is 56 and is living with his 33 year old girlfriend. I have times of being sad and then times I hate him but I don't think I will ever get over the fact that my family will never be together again. We were married almost 35 years and have 2 kids. The youngest is a senior this year. He did this to her during her senior year. He has been terribly hurtful to his kids (not to mention me) and I just don't understand. I don't understand how someone can love themselves more than their family. Love themselves and put themselves above their kids. He barely sees them. I find myself trying to figure him out. How could someone be so selfish and hurtful. He obviously has issues and I knew he would hurt me but I never expected him to do what he has done to his kids. Three days after the divorce was final he brought his girlfriend to my daughters game. My daughter had not even told any of her friends about the divorce because she is having trouble dealing with it but he brings his 33 year old GF and her 5 year old daughter. He has missed all major holidays with his own kids to be with his "new family". He only sees our daughter 1 hour a week to go out to eat and he is so concerned about when he can bring his GF around her. He doesn't care about our daughters feelings or our sons. The will get over it he says. I needs to just stop trying to figure him out and because I never will and realize that my family will just never be together again. And I know it was not a good marriage and I will probably eventually be better off but right now I am struggling and still hurting for myself and my kids. I would love to hear from someone who has been here as well.

4 comments posted: Monday, April 1st, 2024

still suffering

Divorce was final January 25. Three days later he brought his 33 year old girlfriend to our daughters ballgame. (he is 56) Girlfriend has a 5 year old. I am outraged how he could do this to our daughter her senior year. He has ruined her year and put so much stress on her. We have been married 34 years and this was the 5th affair. I think he is mental. We also have a 32 year old son who pulled him out of the game to tell him it was not appropriate for her to be at his game. He barely sees his kids. He was never much of a father but I never imagined this. Even tells me he is close to God now after all he had done. He is currently living with his girlfriend and my kids have never even been told where he lives. He goes to dinner once a week with our daughter. Didn't see them at Thanksgiving and barely saw her at Christmas but then went on a cruise with his new family. I wake up mad and go to sleep mad. I just wonder when all this will get better.

12 comments posted: Tuesday, March 19th, 2024

Its been 2 1/2 years since I found out about 4th affair.

It’s been 2 1/2 years since I found out about the 4th affair. Three were with the same person. He told me he loved her. He moved out and after a week wanted to return. I made him stay out 3 months. He has said some gut wrenching things to me but now says he realizes he never loved her. He has been in canceling for 2 1/2 years (never really went before) and I can tell he has changed. But I’m still devastated and think of it everyday. We live in a small town so every time I enter a restaurant or store I anticipate running in to her. Back in January while I was out of town he went to a restaurant and she was there and walk up behind him hoping to "entice" him I’m sure but instead he got pretty loud and told her to get away from him. He didn’t tell me this I ended up hearing from someone else who was at the restaurant. When I questioned him he said he knew I would be upset if I knew. It just never goes away. I have a daughter entering her senior year of high school. My kids are my world and probably why I stayed. I feel disappointed in myself. How could I stay after things he said? After affair number 4. Early on he would tell me I was "over reacting" and I would say how is someone who has been cheated on 4 times supposed to act? I can’t believe I stayed. Like I said, family has a lot to do with it. And fear. I feel I will never be happy in this. I will always doubt him.

3 comments posted: Saturday, August 5th, 2023

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