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Newest Member: findthebeautywithin

Just Found Out :
Tactical Primer

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mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 3:38 PM on Monday, May 26th, 2014

BUMP

Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 34 years/Together 35 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2687   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 6812799
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needfriendshere ( member #43350) posted at 7:25 PM on Monday, May 26th, 2014

This is wonderful. It's like you have taken the best out of every book on the subject and summarized it for us all. Had I read this before going shopping, I could have saved a lot of money. You hit every main point right on the head. Thank you so much! For anyone who is just tuning in to this site, what Tactical Primer has provided here is priceless!

Me: early 50'sWH: early 50'sMarried: 23 yearsDS: 21 years oldOther DS: 18 years oldD-day: 2/14/2014H's LTA lasted 6 years, his EA's lasted during most of our M, but we are both trying hard to R.

posts: 1542   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2014
id 6812981
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lordhasaplan? ( member #30079) posted at 4:44 PM on Friday, May 30th, 2014

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2106   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6817914
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Lyonesse ( member #32943) posted at 7:51 AM on Monday, June 2nd, 2014

Bump for Detached

Me: BS, 40's.

posts: 1956   ·   registered: Jul. 29th, 2011   ·   location: West Coast
id 6820493
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annb ( member #22386) posted at 10:33 PM on Sunday, June 8th, 2014

bump

posts: 12202   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 6829152
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 4:09 PM on Tuesday, June 17th, 2014

bump

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6838704
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yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 8:33 PM on Thursday, June 19th, 2014

bump

"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

posts: 4519   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast US
id 6841936
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brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 2:51 AM on Monday, July 14th, 2014

bump

Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

posts: 2132   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2010   ·   location: Northwesten US
id 6871121
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mamajen00 ( member #43810) posted at 5:20 AM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

I wish I had seen this post three months ago when I first showed up here. Such good information!

BS- me 37
WH- him 38
1 son - almost 5
Married 8 years
Together 13 years
DDay 4/19/14
9 months of intense EA
2 days of PA

posts: 58   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2014
id 6872429
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littleflower ( member #42673) posted at 8:16 PM on Saturday, July 26th, 2014

Bump

DD 13/1/14
Him WH
OW - what a cow
3 kids under 4

posts: 101   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2014
id 6886866
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Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 4:06 AM on Sunday, August 3rd, 2014

Bump.

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6895745
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jjct ( member #17484) posted at 1:57 PM on Saturday, August 9th, 2014

BUMP!

posts: 7269   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2007   ·   location: texas
id 6903663
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 11:03 PM on Saturday, August 9th, 2014

I so wish I had found this back just after Christmas, 2002. Of course it wasn't written then. I wish I had found SI back then. Instead I found some sites that did me more harm than good.

I wonder, painfully, what my life would have been like if I hadn't done everything wrong. Now, instead of trying to heal after stopping my WW short - shock and awe, I am trying to heal after a DDay 1 on September 1, 2013 almost 11 after I became convinced (almost) my WW was committing adultery. I never caught them (almost did a few times) and I could never prove it and WW lied vigorously, continuously, frequently and effectively for all those years.

How different my life might be if I would have had the advice beginning this thread instead of the advice I got and if I would have hired a PI. If I was doing this at 51 instead of at 63.

I have been on SI lurking before registering at the end of February. I just read this primer this morning. It is so valuable but just too late for me.

BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4719   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 6904012
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shiftingsand ( member #43656) posted at 1:18 PM on Monday, August 18th, 2014

top of the list

"This wasn't about you. Or your looks. Or hers. There was no contest and she did not "win." He's just insecure or an asshole or an insecure asshole." Plan C.

posts: 234   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2014   ·   location: Maryland
id 6913886
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 8:22 AM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014

Bump

posts: 6648   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6919482
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trying22 ( member #44592) posted at 8:21 PM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014

Great!

posts: 77   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2014
id 6920285
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jjct ( member #17484) posted at 5:00 PM on Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

Bump

posts: 7269   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2007   ·   location: texas
id 6925640
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UpInTheAirNow ( member #37777) posted at 4:42 PM on Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014

Bump.

ME 47
WW 52
DDay 6/13/12
Separated 3/13 and NC for my own sanity.
Married 17 years, together 27 yrs.

posts: 339   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2012   ·   location: NY
id 6932996
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Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 11:35 PM on Friday, September 5th, 2014

Bump.

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6936059
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yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 9:30 PM on Monday, September 8th, 2014

bump

"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

posts: 4519   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast US
id 6939054
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