This week we are in the lovely Penn mountains at an executive extended stay hotel. It really is lovely. Hot breakfast that I don’t have to cook myself (Fiancée is up much too early in the day for us to do too much with breakfasts on most weekdays)…pulled chicken in tortillas, scrambled eggs with a fresh toppings bar, lots of fresh fruit, make on demand waffles with whipped cream, oatmeal bar with toppings and an array of other choices. Funny thing tho. None are served with the side order of drama, trauma, and chaos that was either of us was served when we were BS.
The studio apartment is lovely with granite countertops and a full size fridge, comfy full size couch, soft king size beds with comfy pillows and a Mountain View. This week all I have to do is relax and enjoy the week while they are in meetings. Tonight we will find somewhere lovely to eat. I am hoping for something we would not usually have available where either of us lives (maybe Indian or a great seafood place).
We had a relaxing week last week and got to connect with friends and family. One of my friends found out that I was looking for an ice cream maker so I could make some cold treats that were more suited to the diet I will be on for my breast recurrence (lower fat, reduced caffeine, more plant based). I am planning to lookup some yummy sorbet recipes and maybe see what I can do with frozen plant based milk and decaf coffee. She gave me a pampered chef mini ice cream maker and I am looking forward to using it!!
My fiancé and I took some time to civilly discuss finances and make sure that’s still on target.
Every month I pay something down on the divorce debt. My budget really should not be workable, but it strangely seems to be working.
Last week I was able bless someone else with something we didn’t need as we have continued sorting through the few belongings that I had left after the divorce. I don’t want to have to pay for storage and need to get what little personal stuff I have left sorted out of where it has been stored.
I am dealing with a lot of deep emotions about not being able to successfully defend myself in the divorce and what the court did to me. The judge gave me zero say in what I did and didn’t get in the divorce and that she allowed exwh to manipulate the system and her and lie and steal so much from me. I had to pay for stuff he didn’t want that I actually hate as well as stuff he broke and damaged at whatever price he made up that it was worth as well as stuff he had concealed and stolen and said that I took.
I just try to find a positive way to move forward.
We have been able to bless quite a few people with the surprise of us gifting them things they truly need that we don’t. We tell people to just do something good for other people. If Karma is a bus then I am hoping to put the right fuel in it. And if what we put into the world does come back to us, we keep trying to put good things out there.
And every day I work to put the wreckage of my almost 40 year marriage and relationship in the rear view mirror and not carry it into the current relationship.
I am planning to get some coaching or therapy that my insurance will pay for. And I am hoping to be able soon to start doing a hobby I gave up in my marriage. Mental health is as important as "physical" health.
I try to post a bit in case anyone needs to read my story. I wish the survivors reading this peace, prosperity and healing. No matter the worst it got for me every day surviving is far better than the days I spent as a betrayed spouse in infidelity.