SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My opinion relates to reconciliation

As any opinion it is just worth whatever peanuts any other opinion is;

1. Your why however well written and true is essentially irrelevant to reconciliation if that's what you're aiming for. Your focus on it here "sounds" like self gratification and virtue signalling. In the place of your wife I would think my husband likes to feel superior to. Your writing it out here says to me that you are in a self protective state.

2. Your wife's why is essential knowledge for her. It will be very useful knowledge you because your relationship was a dynamic that you participated in.

Example: Wife: I lied to you over the years about my sexual feelings towards other men because early on in our relationship you blocked a discussion because of your own lack of desire to hear (due to your insecurities). Her why is now useful information for you even if you seek another relationship because it tells you something useful about yourself; you were not safe.

Rule: People won't talk cuz they don't feel safe to.

Rule: People won't talk cuz they don't feel safe to

alternative rule: being lied to is not your fault. People lie for all kinds of reasons, Brewbrew. There are many options besides dishonesty.

Yes. And yet his wife took this option. And he is married to her. The only way to get enlightened in relationships is to immerse ourselves in the other person's view.

I know this stuff hurts because it's gets to core of our biggest weakness, killing our egos and dropping that wall of self protection. Letting our love for intimate partners conquer our need to be right and superior and self protect.

I will freely admit I struggle daily, hourly with this. I understand the principle but I fight it with every fibre. I'm doing it now in replying to you!

Another way to look at this:

Every reply I make to argue a point is a mirror to me. Signals my blind spot and my weakness.

Every reply you or the OP disagrees with is a mirror to you. Signals your blind spot.