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Newest Member: runningsouth

Just Found Out :
Letter To Past Self

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NukeZombie ( member #83543) posted at 10:55 PM on Wednesday, May 6th, 2026

Was the most recent AP closer to her age, or was it another 'older' man?

posts: 133   ·   registered: Jun. 29th, 2023
id 8894791
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 Gemmy (original poster new member #86765) posted at 11:08 PM on Wednesday, May 6th, 2026

Only 10 years her senior not 40 this time

Betrayed but trying to stand for the family.
ME: 45 M DDay Oct.18 2025- April 2026 Two LTA first 2 years second 1 year 14 years apart.

posts: 36   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2025   ·   location: Ontario Canada
id 8894793
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Letmebefrank ( member #86994) posted at 11:24 PM on Wednesday, May 6th, 2026

Gemmy, have the OBS’s been informed?

posts: 73   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2026
id 8894796
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Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 11:37 PM on Wednesday, May 6th, 2026

As staff:

Please remember the 2nd guideline:

ON TOPIC: Respect the original posters' intent and avoid threadjacking. Feel free to start new topics to discuss general subject matter in other threads, but do not refer to specific topics or threads outside of their original location.

Gemmy and his WW have decided to both be here and to respect each other’s privacy in posting. Don’t refer to her posts on this thread, nor what Gemmy shares here on any thread you suspect his wife might have started.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 13818   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8894797
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 Gemmy (original poster new member #86765) posted at 12:00 AM on Thursday, May 7th, 2026

Thank you

Betrayed but trying to stand for the family.
ME: 45 M DDay Oct.18 2025- April 2026 Two LTA first 2 years second 1 year 14 years apart.

posts: 36   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2025   ·   location: Ontario Canada
id 8894799
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OhItsYou ( member #84125) posted at 5:42 PM on Thursday, May 7th, 2026

I’ll say this, if she’s not willing to put up a unified front with you regarding her parents with the role they have played here. Forget staying with her. I believe that is your first issue that HAS to be solved.
How she handles that will tell you so much.

posts: 450   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2023   ·   location: Texas
id 8894829
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 8:12 PM on Thursday, May 7th, 2026

Actually, I think it's entirely reasonable for you to ask your W to choose between you and your family.

She's not going to heal if she thinks you're part of what caused her to cheat, and that's what she's doing if she doesn't confront her family. How can she be a full partner with you if she places pleasing her parents above pleasing herself and you?

And how will you maintain your boundary about contacts between her family and your kids if your W doesn't join in maintaining it?

Tough choice, but it will tell you a lot about where your life will be with or without her.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
d-day - 12/22/2010 Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 31887   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8894840
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Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 12:02 AM on Friday, May 8th, 2026

I disagree sisoon. This can't be about "pleasing" anyone, including herself. This is about accountability. She's responsible for the mess she created. She has to take full responsibility for her own choices and actions. That means telling her parents that Gemmy is not to be blamed in any way, shape or form. She has to be willing and able to do this for her own sake, not his.

Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022

"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown

posts: 7263   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2015   ·   location: Colorado
id 8894859
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