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Newest Member: chickenchicken

Divorce/Separation :
Mental health question regarding the affair

Topic is Sleeping.
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phmh ( member #34146) posted at 4:05 PM on Sunday, July 18th, 2021

I guess the feeling I have right now is that I want to win. I dont want ow to win as in be the cause of my divorce.

You know how you win? By creating a wonderful new life for you and your kids.

By showing your kids a strong woman that doesn't allow herself to be disrespected and by providing them with a safe and loving home.

By creating an even better life for yourself and your kids than you had with him.

Ultimately you need to do this for you and your kids, but I know for me in the beginning, I was making my life better as a big F You to my WXH. I used that anger/pain/hurt to make my life better - new job, certifications, new friends, bought a house, etc. Initially as a way to show him; ironically he never knew any of it since we are complete NC.

Keep moving forward. Figure out what you want to do, and start taking steps to get there. Try lots of new things; you don't have to stick with them. This is a grand opportunity you have been given - what you've been doing in the past obviously didn't lead to happiness, safety, or stability for you and your kids. Now you have another chance to achieve that. You've got this!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 8676557
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 9:02 PM on Sunday, July 18th, 2021

Nothing, you worked so hard for nothing.

Same thing I spent at least six years working for. I scrimped, saved, worked a full time job, did his volunteer work to make him look good in the community, politicked right along beside him to help him in the community. As soon as he got his coveted promotion, and cushy office he dumped me like a hot potato. Then he tried his best to screw me into poverty. So nothing.

THIS IS ME.

I cut coupons while he bought ELEVEN suits last year, and TEN pairs of dress shoes on various shades of black and brown.

I stood at the polls all day when his boss ran for re-election. He took pics with several people. When I said hey lets take a selfie, he said UGH, No.

When he got bad press about a case, we were at a swm meet when he saw the article on line. I tried to hig him or rub his back or something to console him. He said DONT TOUCH ME sp loud people stared

posts: 3839   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8676606
Topic is Sleeping.
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