I wanted to quickly update you on the book project.
So far, 20 editors have confirmed their participation and are working hard on their chapters
Unfortunately, a few editors have had to pull out due to lack of time to commit to the project.
This means the following chapters are available again, should you wish to work on them (PM me if you do).
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Chapters needing editors:
Section One- Just Found Out
I. 3 Chapter Three- Discovery
a. The Confession
b. Suspicion/Confrontation
c. Blindsided: Advised by third party, walking in on WS/AP, gaslighting techniques
d. Coping with friends/family who knew about the affair
e. Partial disclosure - getting the whole truth
I. 4 Chapter Four- Initial Reaction to an Affair
b. Emotional Reactions
- Anger/Sadness/Depression
- Fence Sitting
- Cake-person
- seeing through WS excuses for the Affair
- Limbo
Section Two General
II. 1 Chapter One- Dealing with a fence-sitter/cake-person
a. The 180 rules
b. No contact with the WS
II. 8 Chapter Eight- The Other Child
a. How to cope
b. Is it strategy to "trap" the WS into the affair, or is it real?
c. The legal consequences
- DNA/Paternity testing
- Child support, visitation, and custody
II. 12 Chapter Twelve- Venting
a. The best of SI vents and responses
Section Three- Reconciliation
III. 1 Chapter One- Tips and techniques for reconciling your relationship
a. Defining boundaries
b. The stages of reconciliation: what to expect during the first year
III. 7 Chapter Seven- Taking Care of You During Reconciliation
a. The bumpy road to reconciliation
b. Coping strategies
c. How do I stop attacking my WS?
d. Getting through the emotions as a couple
e. Should we renew our vows?
Section Four: The Wayward Side
IV. 3 Chapter Three- No Contact
a. Going NC and maintaining NC
b. Do I write a letter?
c. Coping with the urge to break NC
d. I've broken NC. Now what do I do?
IV. 7 Chapter Seven- Getting to Why
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The first step in the editing process is defining a chapter outline.
This is an example of outline made by SacredSoul for one of her chapters - she's done a great job, so this will give you a good idea of what we expect to receive at this point in the process.
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Section Three, Chapter Five, What questions do I ask my Wayward Spouse about the Affair now that we are reconciling?
III. 5 a. Should I ask questions?
How getting (or not getting) the answers affects the BS; wondering vs. knowing; creating triggers
III. 5 b. How detailed should the questions be?
Should the BS get only the basic information, or ask detailed questions; questions about sex; not asking for more than BS can handle
III. 5 c. How do I ask?
Ways to present questions, (e.g. on paper, asking when the question arises, or conducting a Q&A session with a time limit); how the BS should respond when answers are given; asking the same question repeatedly
III. 5 d. What if WS doesn’t want to answer my questions?
Joseph’s Letter*, fear of hurting the BS; “window/wall” analogy
III. 5 e. When WS answers with “I don’t know” or “I forgot”
How evasion hurts reconciliation; how “fog” affects the WS’s memory; sometimes the details are lost forever and how to deal with that
III. 5 f. Is it possible to reconcile with unanswered questions?
When the WS remains evasive
* We have received permission from Peggy at DearPeggy.com to use Joseph’s Letter.
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Don't hesitate to get in touch if you want to help out!
And to all the editors already working on this: you're all doing a great job! Thank you!
Take care,
Sara
[This message edited by porcupine at 10:02 AM, July 2nd (Sunday)]