HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 12:42 AM on Tuesday, October 16th, 2012
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
jjct ( member #17484) posted at 3:56 PM on Friday, October 19th, 2012
carey ( member #35829) posted at 4:27 PM on Friday, October 19th, 2012
glad this was bumped! Everyone suffering from infidelity will find this helpful. Glad I saw this. Thanks 
me(BW) 41
him (WH) 40
D-day 1/17/12
together for 22yrs, married 12 yrs.
2 children ages 10 & 5
You can close your eyes
to the things you don't
want to see. You can't close
your heart to the things you don't want to feel.
SurprisinglyOkay ( member #36684) posted at 2:27 AM on Thursday, October 25th, 2012
FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children
"Your secrets keep you sick"
SecondHelping ( member #36796) posted at 12:24 PM on Thursday, October 25th, 2012
Both WW and I read this tonight. What a great article.
D-Day 1: Feb 1990
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/2 week PA)
BS 49, fWW 43 (Amibroken)
OP- Police Chief (Age 37)
M 25 Yrs, 3 Kids (17, 14, 11)
I initated the relationship at the Railway Tavern, she tried to end it at Scrap Tavern
Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 1:23 AM on Wednesday, October 31st, 2012
Bump for a newbie.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 4:58 PM on Tuesday, November 6th, 2012
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
longroadhome ( member #32428) posted at 5:32 PM on Thursday, November 15th, 2012
Me: WH
Her: BW, and the most amazing, beautiful person I've ever known
It is counterintuitive really... the less we defend our well-being, the more well we feel. ~ Nancy Colier
HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 3:19 AM on Friday, November 30th, 2012
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 2:42 PM on Tuesday, December 4th, 2012
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
lumpygravy ( member #11877) posted at 12:15 PM on Wednesday, December 5th, 2012
I hope it's not inappropriate that I comment as a BS, but I shared this with my WW last night. The most surprising part was how much I cried. I couldn't control it.
It was good though.
BS: Me WS: Her M: 26 Years
Daughter: 24 DDays: 1996, 8/2006, 5/2016
1st: Online, 2nd: EA/PA, 3rd: She got shot down
Divorced 3/22
LSH1 ( new member #37716) posted at 4:41 PM on Thursday, December 6th, 2012
Copied and emailed this to my WH. Then a list of some my triggers. Please bump this.
Inwaiting ( new member #37748) posted at 7:51 PM on Saturday, December 8th, 2012
Sent link to my WS three days ago hoping that it might spark understanding and a conversation. All that it did though manage to re-traumatize me in that there is only silence on the topic sprinkled with me I supposedly nagging that he hasn't read/or addressed it with me and him saying he's working on reading it (while spending all day online). I'm tired of being depressed. It's a great post and I truly believe both clinically and personally that much of it is exactly how couples can and do heal. Thanks for posting it.
For there is much pain that is quite noiseless...
madeincanada ( new member #37746) posted at 10:11 PM on Saturday, December 8th, 2012
Thank You as well, so much there, so true .... we read it together and held each other...we want so badly to heal and start our new life.
Rejoice in your renewed commitment to spend your lives together in happiness. Celebrate it together regularly!
If the R couple can't do that then they will never truly reconcile.
One of the most wonderful and loving things we have done is write a renewed marraige contract, remembering to love laugh and dance is in there. It's 4 pages and growing
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 4:38 AM on Friday, December 28th, 2012
Bump.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
longroadhome ( member #32428) posted at 4:08 PM on Sunday, December 30th, 2012
Me: WH
Her: BW, and the most amazing, beautiful person I've ever known
It is counterintuitive really... the less we defend our well-being, the more well we feel. ~ Nancy Colier
Missingmyhusband ( new member #37849) posted at 7:11 AM on Monday, December 31st, 2012
As a FWW trying my hardest to find the ways to show my husband I am committed to doing everything I can to save our marriage and become the best wife and mother I can be, I find this post to be very insightful and helpful. It's paved a path for us to walk on, it lets us know what we have put our loved ones thru and how we, as WS can be the support for them that we once were not. Thank you so much for this. It is more help to those of us struggling than you know.
Me 25 WS
Him 26 BS
1 child 2yrs old
Dday 11/15/2012
Wanting to save my marriage
SandAway ( member #37775) posted at 8:11 PM on Monday, January 7th, 2013
Giving this a bump ~ Does no good on the bottom of the 3rd page for new WS's...
fWW
BH Tred
M 19yrs
DDay Nov. 2011
Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people
BIZZYBEEZ ( member #37645) posted at 6:14 AM on Tuesday, January 15th, 2013
Just handed this to my H & asked him to please read. He's doing a lot of the things listed already but not quite sure he truly understands the level of my devastation. Thank you for posting one of the best things I've read in a week.
BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 39
DDay - 10/22/2012 (worst day of my life)
Learning to breathe again - one day at a time
knightsbff ( member #36853) posted at 7:33 PM on Friday, January 18th, 2013
fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
