Topic is Sleeping.
RealityBlows ( member #41108) posted at 4:38 PM on Sunday, December 3rd, 2023
We always advise new WS’s to bare their souls to their BS’s. There’s something extremely binding about the truth and trusting someone with the truth, making yourself vulnerable to someone with the truth, many times an ugly truth. When you lay yourself at their feet and arm them with the truth, placing the outcome squarely in their hands, it is a profound show of remorse.
With every revelation from my WS, I could feel us pull together and, with every lie, omission or trickle truth, I could feel us pull apart. When she bore her soul and made herself vulnerable to me, was emotionally intimate, it was powerfully binding.
"If nothing in life matters, then all that matters is what we do."
Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 6:36 PM on Sunday, December 3rd, 2023
You are cutting your WW a lot of slack. I would agree that you may be projecting your own character onto your WW. My EXWW tried to convince me that she was seduced by the AP, that he was the real villan who took advantage of her during a vulnerable time in her life. I even found a letter she wrote him claiming this. I've kept it and I pull it out every now and then when I need a chuckle.
The truth is, your WW chose to cheat, just as she chose to lie repeatedly. And every time she lied, she took away your agency. Is she still lying? I have no idea, but based on her past behavior, more than likely. Because of her behaviors and your completely reasonable reactions, you are not in recovery. Your R will not begin until YOU feel you have enough information to make a truly informed decision.
Two years is a long time to live like this...
I'm an oulier in my positions.
Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.
Divorced
Topic is Sleeping.
