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Newest Member: findthebeautywithin

Reconciliation :
relapsing

Topic is Sleeping.
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 shouldofleft (original poster member #82234) posted at 3:32 AM on Thursday, January 5th, 2023

It has been 23 yrs since I had just about everything except a few minor details that I pressed for, Why I am here confuses even me and what I'm freaked out about was 35 yrs ago but it was an important chunk of time in my life that wasn't true. I made huge life decisions based on lies....it blows.

posts: 79   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2022   ·   location: East coast
id 8772137
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Rocko ( member #80436) posted at 1:38 PM on Thursday, January 5th, 2023

I think you believe she's made you Plan B 7 times. I'm right there with you.

She runs off and has 5 ONS after short breakups and 1 outright Cheating ONS, then during your marriage she confesses to another just Kissing ONS (without the sex barf ).

I can't recall if all her ONS partners were strangers or a someone she had her eyes on for awhile. She may have instigated some of these breakups so she could go out and have some fun and maybe check a few potential replacements out. I would be suspicious of her conduct during the first few years of your marriage as well. She exhibited very poor coping skills for resolving conflict with you and could have backslid into her ONS therapy.

We all make choices\decisions based on our life experiences. You were sold a version of your WGF that wasn't true and then used that version to decide your path in life.

I divorced because of her lies and deceit. There was no sex involved, I just couldn't live with someone I couldn't trust.

I think you have to make the decision to stay/leave/forgive based upon what you consider Your core values.

posts: 56   ·   registered: Jul. 18th, 2022
id 8772160
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survrus ( member #67698) posted at 1:11 AM on Friday, January 6th, 2023

Why I am here confuses even me and what I'm freaked out about was 35 yrs ago

I don't know either, it's about 35 for me as well, those kinds of memories are in their own category.

Sometimes I wonder if the trivial treatment cheating get in movies and society makes us believe we can just get over it. But like Tolstoys white bear the pressure to get over it makes it all the more prominent in our minds.

posts: 1516   ·   registered: Nov. 1st, 2018   ·   location: USA
id 8772245
Topic is Sleeping.
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