Ostrich (original poster new member #86879) posted at 12:21 AM on Saturday, January 3rd, 2026
10 years ago, while doing IT maintenance on our business computers I found weird spam & phishing emails on spouse’s business email account & it looked like the account may have been hacked. Then I found an email string that looked like spouse communicating about another "get together" and how much they enjoyed spending time with that person. The email string didn’t show another persons name anywhere. Both the spam emails and the ‘affair’ emails were dated around 5 months prior. Spouse claimed to have no idea what the emails were about or who from. Since it looked like email had been hacked I made choice to believe spouse.
10 yrs down the road I now found a text msg string of spouse responding to scam "Hi, How are you" text with spouse exchanging photos w person & telling them how attractive person is. Spouse stopped responding to texts when person said they were several states away but would be in our area & did spouse want to hook up?
I immediately went thru all texts, emails, & call log. Hard to hide stuff from an IT technician. Couldn’t find anything else incriminating.
I know it seems like I’m overreacting but I keep thinking that if the person had been local to start with then there would have been at the very least an emotional affair. I also no longer believe that the emails from 10 years ago were from account being hacked and not an affair. Im honestly not sure what it is I found before and now.
I’m totally questioning if there has been wrong doing actually going on or if I’m just trying to deny it all to myself. At the very least there’s been a betrayal of trust by exchanging photos and basically sneaking around behind my back responding to a scam text. I’m seeing a counselor on Tuesday. I really want to confront spouse right now but maybe it’s better to wait until after talk to counselor?
Hurt, confused, & seriously pissed off
Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 12:50 AM on Saturday, January 3rd, 2026
You can do IT but a PI can track. Have a chat with one.
When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis
JustSomeWoman ( new member #86870) posted at 1:27 PM on Saturday, January 3rd, 2026
Hi OP, sounds like a tricky situation with lots of unknowns. I would be suspicious too. The questions that popped into my head immediately whilst reading your post were:
1. Why would someone hack into some random person's email only to message someone about private matters (such as meeting a friend or whoever the recipient was) from it? Why not use one's actual email considering these people met? It makes very little sense to me.
2. Where did the 'hi, how are you' text originate from and what makes it a scam message? Again, I'm having trouble understanding why a random stranger would message someone's phone just saying how are you. I've had scam messages on my phone myself but usually the texts had a bit more substance to them (i.e talking about a job opportunity, or investment or something similar which is a dead giveaway that they want to scam you somehow). This feels different?
What is your spouse saying about all of this? Also do they have an explanation for sending photos and being interested in this person's location? What were their intentions?
I have a feeling that perhaps numbers may have been exchanged on some dating app or some website or forum or something rather than it being totally random but I am suspicious of things like that because well...I've been cheated on.
[This message edited by JustSomeWoman at 1:29 PM, Saturday, January 3rd]
