SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

You all know the book I mean. I think it is literally the best and most sensible book written on this topic. In the catalog. I understand many may not agree with her views but she has helped thousands who do. THOUSANDS. And I don't even seem to be able to reference this book even though other books with their authors' names are allowed here? Why is this? Can someone explain this to me as I think many people literally are missing the best book on the topic of surviving and thriving after infidelity. It is the book I would PERSONALLY recommend to anyone going through this issue. And....just to be clear, the author and I disagree vehemently on politics so this is not someone I'm friendly with. But I DO think she's right on with this topic and incredibly helpful for betrayed spouses. I would gift this book to anyone I know who is going through this.

I don't know if this is the right place to put this, but I'd really like to know what the reasoning is here. Maybe I'm posting it wrong?

I'd suggest you PM the Mods

Please read the Guidelines:

STAFF ACTIONS: If you have a question regarding a staff action bring it to our attention by using the Private Message feature. Do not question staff actions on the public forums.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:28 PM, Tuesday, November 18th]

Okay, sorry - this is gonna be a stupid question but.....how do I PM the mods? I've never used private messages here. Is there a button? Or is it in Contact us?

I can share the following:
The author has a long-standing bad history with this site. It’s by mutual consent that no mention is made of the author or the authors work or site here on this site. That’s why you can’t post the authors full name – the software prevents it, and it’s frowned upon when posters try to bypass that limitation.

If you want to suggest a book or resource that’s not in the list of accepted books or is not commonly suggested then follow the Guidelines: Get staff approval before posting. I can share that I don’t remember too many suggestions that have been turned down – although I am 100% certain that particular book and author will be.

Up at the top of the site is a contact us menu.

I believe the main "reason" (below the personal conflict with the site) is that it is anti-R.

I'm not saying that stance is necessarily wrong, but it is counter to this site which has a forum dedicated to R. It also isn't generally a useful book for WS.

I believe the main "reason" (below the personal conflict with the site) is that it is anti-R.

I'm not saying that stance is necessarily wrong, but it is counter to this site which has a forum dedicated to R. It also isn't generally a useful book for WS.

BINGO!!

I'm not saying that stance is necessarily wrong, but it is counter to this site which has a forum dedicated to R. It also isn't generally a useful book for WS.

There are also forums dedicated to Divorce/Separation and New Beginnings. And I've read many recommendations for "Cheating in a Nutshell," which unambiguously advocates divorcing the WS as the best path out of infidelity.

I think Bigger nailed it here.

This is clearly over a dispute with said author, I doubt it goes any deeper than that. I also highly doubt it has anything to do with the book itself nor its implications on R. I mean, jeez, just read the reviews on Amazon - that book has helped an unfathomable amount of people.

[This message edited by DRSOOLERS at 11:21 AM, Friday, November 21st]

Posting this first part wearing my member hat:

Yes – I did nail it 😉

There is past negative history with this author (who was once a member here) and there was a decision made by the founders (and therefore owners) of SI to not mention said author or the work of said author on this site. It’s MY understanding (and this was ages ago...) that the decision was mutual.

IMHO it’s not a big ask. In some ways it’s the only eccentric decision made by what I think are rather open and accepting owners of this site. We don’t have to agree with the decision, but we need to respect it if we want to be here.

I don’t think it has anything to do with the anti-reconciliation stance of the author. We have members here who consistently tell everyone to divorce. We even have/had one who posted that their goal on this site was to prevent reconciliation. I also recall one who insisted God required we reconcile (I think he lasted about 5 posts...). The different and varying views are what make this site great IMHO.

What does matter is how the stance is presented: If you shove your view down a member’s throat in a way that breaks the Guidelines you get warned, and eventually banned if you persist. Irrespective of what message you are preaching.

Contrary to popular belief this happens very rarely. A quick count indicates that this year to-date about 20 accounts have been banned, and 15 of them for spamming (generally single-use accounts created to spam). Of the other 5, at least 2 are repeat offenders reregistering and going back to whatever got them banned in the first place.

Time out to change hats:
As a member of staff

This thread is in itself mentioning the said author, albeit indirectly.
Seeing as the stance of this site is not to do so, I’m using my staff prerogative to lock this thread.