SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have been able to see texts that tell me my WH has bought a plane ticket for a week's travel next month, going to see a girl he met almost 50 years ago, and together we saw her on a vacation about 40 years ago. So two periods of 2 weeks each a lifetime ago, and he's going to blow it all for that youthful fantasy.
She's the one who reached out about 9 months ago. Her SO died, her kids are grown, she's lonely, sent and asked for family pictures (none are X or even R), wonders what WH's life is like, blah, blah. But yeah, he's replying and mooning over the paradise in which she lives, their shared, cobwebbed memories, and spending time together again.

It's a situation I've dreaded since my first Dday, but I'm surprised that I'm not devastated or on the floor puking with my heart racing. It will implode my world just as badly as in 2006, although our kids are all grown and out, which I hope means it'll affect them less. They were never told about his (first) A. I will be the one destroyed financially, as my work has dwindled and he's by far the higher earner. Retirement is a pipe dream, and keeping the family home I inherited is going to be near impossible. There'll be more trips to lawyers to assess changes in circumstances, but I don't have high hopes.

I've endlessly re-lived my pathetic response to the first Dday, making myself the take-no-prisoners heroine of the story in the re-write, and here I have the chance to regain my self respect. As you can tell from my signature, I've been here a very long time, and read a great deal. I'm trying to channel Bigger in prepping my response to when WH tells me his plans, and I feel it comes down simply to this: "You've been secretly in contact with M, now plan to spend one on one time with her. You have not done what is necessary to rebuild trust in our relationship, and that is not acceptable to me. You have again shattered my heart. I will be moving on without you. While you're gone I'll be working to legally end the marriage your choices have destroyed. Start your new life with M, I hope she makes you happy. Good bye."

Thanks for reading, and any thoughts are welcome.

See an attorney asap. This story is repeated so much that it is an epidemic. "The one that got away". It is nauseating.
I follow a blog of a woman this happened to. Her ex blindsided her, took off after 25 years of marriage. She was left with the house and her job. He and the AP, and her son lived in the South, she in the North. No correspondence at all until she was contacted by his sister to say he died of Covid and nobody was with him. She sold her house moved to NE and has a friend(male) that she enjoys. Her life is much better.
Do not let this wreck your life. At some point you will see the silver lining.